There really is nothing quite like a great game.
Ever since the dawning of the playground era, the spirit of competition has motivated the human race into accomplishing whatever goal lay ahead. Whether it be to create a Fortune 500 Company or to simply jump from one sofa to the other to avoid the hot lava, it's the pursuit of a goal that makes life worth living, no matter how stupid that goal is.
That's where this article comes in.
"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing."
When famed writer/self-help guru Dale Carnegie famously spoke that phrase, it's hard to imagine that quote be used to justify the actions of the bored, creative, hilarious people I've had the pleasure of sharing the world with over the years. The following article consists of the games that have brought us unimaginable joy for years now. Games that you yourself can play whenever life needs to be a bit more interesting.
1. "Race Wars"
Requirements: 2+ players / a way to order food / money to pay for it.
Kicking off this entire list is the easiest and least dangerous game of them all. "Race Wars" is coined by my buddies at USF and it's quite simple-ordering food from two rival delivery services at the same time, pitting two delivery drivers against each other to see who delivers first. Back at home, each player, or teams of at least two, make bets on to which driver arrives at the door first. Whomever chooses the incorrect driver has to then pay for everyone's meals from both drivers.
What was once a meaningless, simple, and mundane task of ordering food, "Race Wars" turns into the single most unpredictable and suspenseful high-risk gamble this side of drug addiction.
Just remember to tip well. These delivery drivers have no idea they were just put through the biggest race of their lives.
2. "Shameful Shuffle"
Requirements: 2+ players / a car / an aux cord with stereo / a predetermined playlist of embarrassing music / sunglasses for each player
Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me no pleasure to introduce you to the worst thing in the entire free world, "Shameful Shuffle." There is nothing fun about this so please promise me you'll never do it. "Shameful Shuffle" is an endurance competition of epic proportions designed to separate the meek from the strong, and the lambs from the lions. A game of "Shameful Shuffle" begins when someone in the car plugs in a predetermined playlist of embarrassing music, while everyone else proceeds to roll down all windows and convertible tops. With complete vulnerability and exposure to the public, all players must put on sunglasses, look straight ahead, and cannot react in any way to whatever music begins to play. Whomever breaks first loses the game.
It really is quite simple...but just because it's simple does not mean it's in any way easy. When I say "embarrassing" music, I don't mean four dudes listening to a Miley Cyrus song on a crowded highway. Oh no. I'd punch my own grandmother in the face if it meant such a luxury. An average game of "Shameful Shuffle" takes place downtown on a Saturday night with this blasting loudly from the stereo...
We've heard "All I Want For Christmas Is You" in the middle of April. The entire collection of the "Silly Songs With Larry" from "Veggietales" has been used. Some songs have even been played in reverse for sudden-death style matches. "Shameful Shuffle" is the most agonizing form of torture I'm sure even North Korea has initiated by now. Don't play this. In a game of "Shameful Shuffle," nobody wins.
3. "Mr. President/Madame President"
Requirements: 4+ players / a party or public setting
Some men are born great while others have greatness thrust upon them. In a game of "Mr. President/Madame President," legends are born, guaranteed to pave the way for those that dare follow heroic bravery. It's a straightforward premise, the Secret Service have been tipped off that a possible attack on the President of the United States will occur at the very function Mr. or Madame President is currently attending. The President is in trouble and it's up to you to save him/her.
"Mr. President/Madame President" was an idea an old coworker of mine actually discovered online many years ago before finding enough willing participants ready to engage in its entertaining stupidity. Throughout the night, players must be kept alert at all times about the whereabouts of each other in order for the game to work. The game begins immediately upon players agreeing to the decision to play and does not end until the President has been saved from catastrophe at some point in the night. There are no breaks because assassination waits for no man. Randomly, one player will nonchalantly raise a finger to his or her ear as if he or she is receiving a Secret Service radio call. Another player must see this sign and raise his or her finger to the ear to get in on the action. Another player must continue on with the pattern until there is one player left without a finger to the ear. That player is the President and he or she is about to die.
"MR./MADAME PRESIDENT, GET DOWN!"
It's the duty of the last Secret Service agent to scream that as the other agents charge the President, tackling him or her to the ground before the hypothetical bullet careens through the back of their skull. With the President saved, the game concludes and you can now celebrate your heroic victory with the people around you currently staring in utter confusion.
With the right crowd, "Mr. President/Madame President" can be a real hit at parties. The first time it's done in the night, the confusion from spectators grows into morbid curiosity and eventual willingness to participate. The rounds of "Mr. President/Madame President" with complete strangers always serve as fantastic ice breakers and can sometimes be the life of the party. I cannot stress just how hilarious/sincerely terrifying the image of 20+ new players all charging at the one unfortunate person that didn't raise a finger quick enough.
4. Backstage Chaos
Requirements: Being cast to perform in some sort of live show / an audience
The photo above is of me as Ebeneezer Scrooge in my high school drama club's original adaptation of "A Christmas Carol." As you might be able to decipher, the scene pictured above is the climactic scene in which The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come takes Scrooge to visit his neglected grave. Meandering drastically from the book and film adaptations, however, the girl to my right is that of Scrooge's life long love, Belle. Belle is found sobbing, kneeling next to her beloved's grave, realizing her failure as Scrooge's salvation.
For his entire miserable life, Belle was the last shrivel of Scrooge's humanity and the one dying light in his greedy, miserly world. Realizing the only hope he had lied in a woman he was once too afraid to love, Scrooge begins to collapse at his grave next to her. Being held hostage to the image of his dearest darling wailing, begging Scrooge's grave for forgiveness in her failure to change the person he once was, Scrooge painfully screams to the heavens and begs to be set free from the "horrible dream" he's been experiencing all show. The look on Belle is that of regretful sorrow. The look on me?
Concealing laughter at the realization that somebody backstage wrote "jet fuel can't melt steel beams" in crayon on the backside of my grave.
To any theater kid, the backstage pranks have become such a common tradition, it's about as expected as saying "break a leg," or petty diva drama, or the insatiable hooking up between every show's two leads. One upping each other to try to make someone on stage break character can sometimes be more exciting than the actual performance itself. But taking it to the extreme-- with the director's approval, of course--that, my friends, is where a game is born.
Yup. That's me having to immediately justify my holding of a palm frond in my 19th century London bedroom to a sold out audience that is definitely not in on the joke. As Zapruder had his moment to shine, so did a friend's mom in capturing this moment of genuine panic. A backstage cast member decided to throw that at me the very second the curtains opened, leaving me stranded on stage and leaving the backstage in fits of silent laughter.
But ignoring me for a moment, a character in "The Scarlet Pimpernel" had to endure oversized cotton balls in his costume pockets, while an alcoholic character in a show called "The Decade Club" had the water he normally drank switched out for actual vodka. Or how about a member of the "Beauty and the Beast" ensemble hiding in a fake well, only to slowly raise his head out of the well in the middle of the opening "Belle" number?
I look back at moments such as these and am forever grateful at the funny times spent with funny people. Life can be really enjoyable if you have people that make you roll your eyes beside you. It's easy to have fun. All it takes is a creative mind, a sense of humor, and a very low IQ to agree to do stupid stuff like this.