One of language’s most beautiful purposes is conveying compliments. There’s an infinite supply of words for us to pick and choose from to create sentences solely for the purpose of lifting someone else up, or maybe even ourselves. This gives us so much room for creativity with our compliments, which is why I often wonder how we’re always handing off and receiving the same words every day.
What makes a compliment genuine, effective, and credible in lifting a person up is that it makes them feel positively unique, even if it’s for a split second. With that said, we really shouldn’t be recycling compliments. What good is a smart, pretty, nice, and awesome person if everyone else could be considered the same? As humans, we crave awareness of our own individuality, as if being “generic” could be the death of us.
After a few weeks of pensiveness (and exposure to poetry and good music), I’ve come up with a list of fairly common complimenting situations and uncommon compliments to use in them. Here they are:
When a person is aesthetically pleasing:
“You’ve taken great care of yourself.”
I’m a firm believer in the notion that beauty isn’t just skin-deep. With this compliment, you could elaborate that not only has the person you’re addressing taken great care of their outward appearance, but their personality as well.
When a person is intellectually gifted:
“Stay stimulated.”
I read an article about what not to tell your kids as they’re growing up. Apparently, calling kids “smart” has some psychosomatic repercussions that affect work ethic. It’s actually better to tell a child they’re a hard worker than that they're smart. I’m pretty sure this applies to people of all ages. With this compliment, not only are you avoiding calling someone “smart,” you’re also encouraging them to keep on working hard.
When a person is artistically gifted:
“You’ve experienced a part of heaven and have brought it to us.”
Artists express themselves in so many ways and dedicate so much time to doing so. It’s as if everything they do is inspired by something divine, like heaven. Only a few people get the privilege to experience paradise and have the ability to accurately describe it, and those people are artists.
When a person makes you proud:
“My happiness travels with you.”
Being proud of someone is something bigger than personal sentimentality; it involves emoting for something done by someone else. Don’t keep your pride to yourself: ship it off to whomever you’re proud of, so that they know what they did was monumental.
When a person needs a self-esteem boost (applicable to yourself):
“God is just spending a little more time on you.”
Yes, this is a modification of the N’Sync song called "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You." What I noticed was that the original title was pretty profound to use as a compliment, but was only useful if people were sure about someone’s uniqueness. People with low self-esteem usually aren’t sure about themselves, and we need to cater to that. So tell them this. It’s extremely hopeful, and hope is what people need.
When a person is just something else (can be used generally):
“You’re the first and last of your kind.”
Here’s another compliment I ripped off from a song. It’s from Alt-J’s "Every Other Freckle" (the first line, in fact.) I was floored by how simple this lyric was and how godly it could make someone feel if it were a compliment. I can imagine that if the person you complimented knew which song this was from, they’d be extremely flattered.
