An Open Letter To My Cerebral Palsy.

An Open Letter To My Cerebral Palsy.

It's been fun.
Mary Rom
Mary Rom
75
views

Since March is quickly coming to an end I decided to write one more article about Cerebral Palsy, and all the things I wish I could say to it, but, really can’t. I hope you find some humor with the content you read in this letter because I can promise you every word written is meant with a lot of humor, and zero sadness. So with that in mind, I hope you enjoy this week's article.


Dear Cerebral Palsy,

It’s been a fun ride between you and I so far. You came into my life when I was an innocent one year old, heck you’ve probably been with me since I was born, but you didn’t want to show yourself until you were ready.

Next month, I’ll be 21, which means we’ll have been together for 20 years. That’s a long time don’t you think? By far the longest relationship I've ever been a part of. Congratulations.

There are times where I wish we could break-up. I never regret having you in my life, but sometimes you make life hard. Sometimes you make life harder than it really needs to be. Nevertheless, you have also given me so many great experiences, and let me meet even greater people, so for that, I am grateful.

I guess you can say we have a love-hate relationship. I love you for everything and everyone you have given me.

But at the same time, I hate you.

I hate you because of everything you kept me from. I hate you because of the amount of planning I have to do to go out somewhere. I hate you because sometimes, no matter how many people I surround myself with, I still feel alone. There are so many more reasons to hate you, but if I think about them, then you’ve beaten me, both mentally and physically.

And I guess, you hate me too.

No matter how hard I try to put on a brave face, at the end of the day, you win. Most of the time, the pain is unbearable. Yet, I manage to smile and laugh through it all. So, jokes on you I guess.

A lot of people ask me if I had the choice, would I choose to get rid of you. Most of the time, I never know what to say, cause after 20 years, it’s kind of hard to picture my life without you in it. You're impossible to live with, but somehow I've been doing it for two decades, and plan on doing it for a lot longer. You make people think I can't do things I'm 100 percent capable of doing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're the best friend I never wished I had.

Signed,

The person who loves to hate you, and hates to love you.



Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

Popular Right Now

To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
26224
views

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Just Like Any Other Toxic Relationship, It's Time To Breakup With Your Phone

Our phones are our individual prisons and you need to free yourself.

56
views

Cell phones. Ever wonder why they're called "cellular devices?" Well, the suffix "ular" means "relating to," or "resembling." And "cell," well, the first thing you think is a prison cell! So, cellular devices resemble a prison. We trap ourselves in them. We go behind the gate, close and lock the door, and throw away the key. We place our full identity in what we put on social media. We waste precious time scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We send memes instead of talking to someone face-to-face. We Snapchat the people right beside us, instead of just talking to them.

You know when you're in a toxic relationship, everyone tells you to break up with that person. They're bad for you. They only hurt you. You're better than that. Our relationship with our phone is like that too. So, break up with your phone! You don't need that negativity, that comparison, or that judgment.

I'm a teenager. I'm supposed to be the one attached to my phone, right? Well, I'm the "odd" one who actually wants to see your eyes and not have our phones around when we talk. I hate how it's so accepted, and encouraged, to neglect the necessity of human, face-to-face conversations with words coming out of our mouths. Our thumbs move faster, and more frequently, than our mouths do anymore.

I wish there was a national day where all electronics were forbidden, making you go an entire 24 hours without them.

Eventually, after you go through withdrawal, you would come to love the world you so often ignore. I promise. This January, I took the whole month away from social media. Even taking away that part of phone use was eye-opening. The sky is pretty, the birds sing, people actually dress up. There's also this thing called the outdoors — it's really cool! I don't know, I'm just glad that I haven't caught the millennial-bug. It's contagious, so beware.

Related Content

Facebook Comments