26. Why did the vampire like baseball? Every night he got to turn into a bat! | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

31 Candy-Corny Halloween Jokes

7. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A toasty ghosty!

1370
31 Candy-Corny Halloween Jokes

In This Article:

Hi guys it's Haley again, giving you your weekly dose of my words! This week I am tired (scary tired, so it's festive)!!! School is kicking my booty repeatedly and without ceasing, I haven't been sleeping much, and I physically cannot consume enough coffee, with scream and sugar of course (see joke 28 for details)!!! I do not have a well thought out prose piece, political rant, or words of wisdom to give you all (sigh).

But let's not dwell on that, let's get excited for Halloween! It's days away and I am pumped for a spooky night!! Catch me doing the monster mash all day long!

This week's article is literally just 31 Halloween jokes in hopes of getting a haunting cackle out of all of us. I may or may not have giggled out loud a few times while composing this article, I'll leave that piece of information up for debate.

Without further ado, here lay 31 scary good jokes!


media.giphy.com


1. What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A human bean!

2. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? You suck!

3. Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos!

4. Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with!

media.giphy.com

5. Where did the goblin throw the football? Over the ghoul line!

6. Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat? Because of the coffin!

7. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A toasty ghosty!

8. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas-scare-a!

media.giphy.com

9. What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly webbed!

10. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? The Vampire State Building!

11. What do Italians eat on Halloween? Fettuccine Afraid-o!

12. What do witches use in their hair? Scare-spray!

13. What instrument do skeletons play? The Trom-bone!

14. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? I-scream!

15. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates!

media.giphy.com

16. Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank!

17. Why doesn’t anyone like Count Dracula? He’s a real pain in the neck!

18. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghoster!  

19. What kind of clothes do the cool zombies wear? Decay NY!

20. What is a vampire’s least favorite song? “You Are My Sunshine”

21. What subject do they teach in witch school? Spelling!

media.giphy.com

22. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries!

23. Why did the traveling witch throw up? She was broom sick!

24. Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs? At the ghost-ery store!

25. Where do villains go to send their mail? The ghost office!

26. Why did the vampire like baseball? Every night he got to turn into a bat!

media.giphy.com

27. How do monsters tell their future? They read their horror-scope!

28. How do ghosts like their coffee? Dark with extra scream!

29. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)!

30. Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad? Because they’re transparents!

31. How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!

media.giphy.com

Trick or treat! Merry Spookmas! Happy Halloween!

Joke creds go to these awesome websites!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

The Unwritten Rules Of "Talking"

What is "talking?" How does one "talk?"

8122
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774965
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

2382
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments