Over the past few years, and also very recently, there has been an overwhelming amount of loss in my small town and the towns surrounding us. I know that death is just part of the life cycle, but it's different when parents are burying their own children and friends are saying goodbye before they get to experience all of life with that person, whether it be a sister, boyfriend, or best friend, by their side. Death is hard no matter what, but it's even harder to deal with when it's so unexpected, undeserving, and much too soon.
Going through each day, week, month, and year after losing someone is a terrible battle that no one would have to fight in a perfect world. Life is different, flipped completely upside down, and just doesn't make sense. It's indescribably hard and painful.
No matter what books or therapists say, there is no right way to grieve. There's no right way to live after losing a loved one, either. All you can do is live with that loved one in your heart while pursuing a happy and healthy life.
It's a cliché thing to say, but the person you lost wouldn't want you to be sad. As our loved ones watch over us, I believe they enjoy watching us laugh and live our lives because that's how we would be if they were still with us. Even though we would much rather them be here physically with us, there is some comfort in feeling their presence even after they've gone.
Remembering our loved ones is one of the most important ways to deal with losing them. Keeping pictures, telling stories, and even having mementos and memories of our loved ones keeps them relevant, which helps during the time of loss as well as much later down the road. You may be answered with an awkward silence or a sad smile after sharing a beloved memory, but it's actually a beautiful thing to be able to look back and smile on an irreplaceable moment in time.
After losing someone, you also start to understand how precious life really is. Sure, you've heard it said a thousand times; but it's not until you experience firsthand how unpredictable life can be that you truly start to appreciate every day you're given. The saying, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone," is a sobering and all too true statement that hopefully motivates us to not take our days for granted.
So, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes you to get there, remember to live your life to the fullest; if not for yourself, then in honor of who you lost. Hug your friends and call your family. Let everyone in your life know how much you appreciate them, because you never know when it might be too late.
