Gone Girl’s Rosamund Pike is up for the best actress Oscar for her role as Amy Dunne. The character she plays in this movie is cunning, smart and, above all, crazy. However, we have to give credit where it’s due. The character, no matter how crazy she was, brought to life a concept that is all too real. Gillian Flynn, author of "Gone Girl," is a genius, and put the concept of women trying to fulfill the cool girl persona in the spotlight.
A little insight on what Flynn means by cool girl from her book: “Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size two, because Cool Girls are, above all, hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want....”
What this cool girl persona says to me is that girls are willing to just simply play it cool, do whatever it is that will allows the males in their life to think that it's okay --she’s cool -- it won’t bother her. The whole persona of being a cool girl is extremely prominent in college, and here is why. Girls in college -- well, cool girls -- are the ones pretending. They pretend they like the cheap beer the boys are drinking, and that the phone calls at 1 a.m. are okay and meant with good intentions and they are happy to give him and his frat bros a sober ride. And, of course they want to talk football.
Cool girls don’t get mad, either. They just stifle their anger and act understanding and sympathetic, and let things slide instead of communicating what they need or what is or isn’t okay -- passive aggressive cool girl. How can she be mad at the guy, though? She lead him to believe she is cool! This cool girl is basically just a try hard who fakes liking certain things to be a perfect image of what a guy would like. And it is getting them nowhere.
You don’t like to talk about football? That’s okay, I’m sure the guy you like would much rather discuss football with the boys, anyway. He ignored you all week, then gave you a call as the bars closed? You played it off as nothing was wrong, and now it is the norm -- totally your fault. You probably enjoy drinking wine, watching chick TV such as HGTV or Bachelor, and painting your nails -- as opposed to darts, Natty Light and whatever else guys enjoy.
There is more to you than that, just as there is more to him, so you don’t need to force conversations of poker and dirty jokes. Confident women know what they like and what they don’t like. Maybe they do enjoy sports and a nice craft beer, that’s awesome -- because they like it. A confident women will attract somebody who finds the feminine side just as intriguing and interesting as he does a girl who can down a Natty Light and play darts. She knows she cannot keep up with the guys on certain of his interests and hobbies, so him spending time doing said hobbies with his guy friends is fine.
In the end, the cool girl gets nothing she wants out of being cool, but she gives a lot. She tries hard to make good impressions and be well liked, but she is trapped in this persona and cannot let her true feelings show for fear of not being “so cool and laid back.” Don’t be mad at boys if you are the one saying “oh, it's no big deal” and playing everything off as cool. You are not communicating correctly, and he cannot read your mind.
Do not trap yourself into becoming a cool girl whose main attributes are “smart and understanding.” Although great qualities, there should be more to you. Be confident in yourself, and in your own true interests and hobbies, as well as your limitations.
