I am a junior in college, a student in the nursing program, and a member of a fraternity. I have made some amazing friends, while in college, and have experienced the typical college experience. I puke and rally with the boys, have casual hookups and stay out way too late. But, I consider dropping out of college - ALL THE TIME. I have been in college since I graduated high school, in 2016, and I am mentally exhausted. I am tired of never having time for myself. I work, attempt to study with the little free time I have, and I go to nursing school from 9 am to 5 pm - that is a shift at work, excuse me?
In nursing school, they stress the importance of self- care. Self- care is when you treat yourself to a nice pedicure, haircut, or a night at the bar - basically doing whatever makes you happy. Well, what makes me happy is not having homework, the constant fear of FAILING out of the nursing program, and living without the thought of how disappointed my parents would be if I did not graduate with a BSN. The amount of stress I carry is too much and I want to drop out all the time. I want the pressure to decrease, the expectations that I cannot meet to disappear, and the doubts to fade away.
OH, I HATE when the stress has reached the max and you finally open up about it to your parents, professors, or friends- they DO NOT understand. I have reached out to professors and they will tell me some stupid story they experienced and make their lives seem more tragic - DR. WHATEVER, THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION. Professors really flex, for no reason. "I'm sorry Megan you are struggling, but WHEN I was in college I had 2 jobs, 5 kids, 67 dogs, and a wife that hated me." WELL YEE HAW THAT, can we focus on me, your student, for a second? And parents, THE PARENTS! PARENTS, especially the ones that did not even go to college, really do not get it. I have cried in front of my parents about nursing school and they have belittled my stress. Okay, DAD what are the side effects of Benedryl? And there are way more than just drowsiness, DAD!
College is so hard, regardless of your major. I am the kind of student that fails one exam and will literally break MYSELF down. I will call myself a failure, stupid, idiot, etc. I really need to chill, but I would rather call myself names than fix the issue. WOW, I am dramatic - but it really is hard.
I think about dropping out all of the time, but I never will. I am really passionate about nursing and cannot wait to be finished with my degree, but there are times when I am discouraged. I want to make my parents proud, have an amazing job, and overall make myself proud when I finally walk the stage. If God got me into college - then he can get me out of it... with a degree. No matter how hard life hits you, or how discouraged you get, stick through it and never give up!
