The Consequences Of Watching A Scary Movie

I’m up for scary movies as much as the next girl, but it’s not the first movie genre I suggest. I think of it as more of a social activity—as in you never watch them alone.

It seems like a waste of 2 hours to me, because I just end up covering my eyes for 90% of the movie. Oh, and you can’t forget plugging your ears, because everyone knows the suspenseful music is the worst part. When the movie is particularly frightening, you learn how to do both at the same time, but trust me, it’s not easy.

Of course, these terrifying flicks are fun to watch when you have a cute guy by your side. Every time something pops out you have an excuse to squeal and snuggle closer.

But wait. What happens when the movie is over and the cute guy goes home?

Once he’s gone, your overactive imagination turns your house into the setting for all types of horror movie scenarios.

You keep triple checking the lock on the front door...and any other door you see. You close every curtain, because it’s too dark for you to see outside, and you never know what might be lurking out there...

Anytime you walk down a dark hallway no, scratch that—there is no way in h*ll you are going to walk down a dark hallway tonight. Horror movie survivor rule number one: never walk by yourself in the dark. You’re too smart to make the mistakes of the stupid girl who was only in the first 5 minutes of the movie. To solve this problem, you just turn on all the lights in your house so there are no dark corners. Screw the electricity bill.

You also have to peak behind the shower curtain to see if there’s an ax murderer hiding in your tub (I can’t be the only one who does it). Quick question, what is your plan if you do find somebody behind the curtain? Beat them to death with a curling iron? I don’t think so.

Getting into bed is the tricky part. If you walk too close to the bed something underneath could grab you and pull you under. Your overactive imagination can be a real b*** sometimes. Even if you are the least athletic person on the planet, by this point your adrenaline is so hyped up you could probably lift a car. Right after you flip the light switch off (and I mean right after, remember what I said about the dark? No dilly dallying!) you make a gigantic leap onto the center of your bed. If only your high school track coach could see you now, because you’re pretty sure that you just jumped like 5 feet.

Now that you are safely in bed none of the boogie-monsters can harm you. Oh wait, but you have to pee—now we have to start all over again.

The moral of the story is: next time the option of a scary movie comes up, consider the consequences. Is it really worth it? We always end up saying we are never watching a scary movie again, but each and every time the opportunity presents itself, we give in. I mean if a cute guy is asking me to watch it with him, I guess I can live with the nightmares.

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