My name is Melissa Sims and I’m in Alpha Chi Omega sorority. I went and listened to a motivational speaker for women and sororities and I would like to share the empowering knowledge that he brought to my eyes. I have always been afraid of feminists and the overbearing manner that they stereotypically carry, but this showed me that women love and need each other.
Being in a sorority brings about standards, regulations and certain images that we have to meet as "proper women of society." There are many women in sororities around the United States who face oppression and fear of the hierarchy that is instilled within the group, but we are fortunate enough to go to a school where this is not an issue.
However, even in the best schools, the century-old stigmas that men work under the power of men still stands. The speaker mentioned that we still, as sorority girls, dress for men at parties. We flaunt our bodies and desire male attention for the wrong reasons. We also drink for men, when they tell us to chug, to take shots, to "go hard." I am not saying I have not done these things, like dressing for men, but now, if I do them, it is out of my choosing. I dress for me, not for the eyes of drunken boys who only see a body and not a face.
Self-worth is something all women need to work on, especially in modern society. For example, the speaker told us a story about a fraternity residing at another school, neither of which will be named, created an event called the ‘Petting Zoo’ where women buy shirts and tickets to come and touch the men of the fraternity. The saddest part of this story is that sororities on campus actually competed to buy the MOST shirts or the MOST tickets. This not only shows a really bad taste in morale but shows low self-worth and standards. Why, for example, do we raise money at FGCU for fraternities like Sigma Chi in Derby days and do all the work and put in the time and emotional effort when they do not only help with our fundraisers but cannot even match half the money we raise for them? Cooking, cleaning, helping set up for events, walking around and raising awareness; these are all simple tasks that they can complete that can make a huge difference.
We as women must show confidence and independence not only in Greek life but socially and in the workplace. He told us, the audience, that as an employer, he looks for confident, strong women. A woman came in one day for an interview where he worked and he asked her to do something somewhat outrageous. When the woman stood her ground and not only said the task was too risky but defended her argument in a profession and determined manner. She was then hired on the spot, simply for knowing herself, her limits, and speaking her mind.
Let’s say a woman is in a board meeting in a room full of men and the woman proposes an idea. The idea is then shot down by a majority of the men and the woman silently obeys and moves on. The success is lost; nobody wants a team member who just follows the crowd. This is not a successful career or life perspective. If the woman proposes an idea that isn’t majority favored, she should then explain her theory, defend it, and be confident in her ability to make the job happen.
Women in the world right now need to understand that we only have ourselves to lean on. When we are mean to each other, it makes other girls think that it’s okay to make a person feel bad. The speaker spoke about how women nowadays need each other. When one woman is mean to another, for a man, this creates a distrust and fear between a gender that needs all the love and support we can get. He said, “Don’t tear down your sex.” These are words I live by.
“Society does not need or want women around who cannot be supportive or caring to one another. Set a positive example for younger girls. There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women, whether they are in the face of adversity or not.”
I now have a new appreciation for the love and generosity that this man has brought to my eyes. Love is not hard to give, you simply must be open to it. Women are strong, powerful, and unique. Every woman is passionate about something, so let us help one another to achieve our goals, to reach new heights, and build a better bond together.
