It's safe to say that some people seemingly have no problems with themselves, they seem confident, sometimes even to the point of cockiness or arrogance, in all they do. But are they really?

Looking around my chemistry classroom, I see people with their heads bent over notebooks, vehemently copying the notes on the board and nodding as the professor speaks, they have comprehension written all over them. Me? I want to cry. I can't keep up with the notes, when I work out the problems myself the numbers don't match up to what's on the board, when the professor speaks it sounds like another language, I am in a constant state of panic as I struggle to maintain a decent grade. Why am I the only one with a confused look on my face? How do these people understand this? Confidence.

I lack confidence. For some unknown reason it feels like I'm confessing to murder, like I have just admitted that I secretly love Nickleback. It makes me uncomfortable to say, but it's true. Somewhere along the line I lost all confidence in myself and the things I do. No matter what it is, whether it's school, my body, the way I dress, the way I act, you name it, I have zero confidence. When did this happen? How did this happen? I used to be the first one with my hand up when the teacher asked a question, now I try to keep my head down and hope they don't notice I exist. I used to look in the mirror before I left my room and think "wow I picked out a cute outfit today, go me," now I have to ask my roommate if I look "decent enough." I could probably be in an evening gown and I will still ask my roommate that question, and even if she says yes, I'll send a picture to all my friends and make sure they agree, and even if they all agree, I'll make a face in the mirror and sigh and say "ugh, I guess it'll do.” My confidence was shot by the time I got to my junior year of high school. I’m not sure when it happened or how, unfortunately, but I do know it’s not good.

I decided to try and live my life in the exact opposite way of how I was living it for one week. I didn’t ask my roommate for her opinion on my outfits, I didn’t text a friend to make sure they got the same answer as me for every single problem on a homework, I didn’t look at myself with disgust in the mirror. It was hard, but the results were amazing. In that week I got 100 percent on every homework I completed, I answered questions in class and got them right, I got complimented on my outfits, people said that I seemed to be in a good mood almost every day of that week. That’s when I decided I need to live my life this way every day.

Old habits die hard, so it isn’t a change that will happen overnight. It took a lot of effort and energy to consciously live that way for a week, but eventually the old habits of someone who lacks confidence will die, and the new habits of someone who is confident in who they are and what they do will be the norm. If you’re like me, in need of constant reassurance and approval, I hope you try to gain back the confidence you must have had at some point in your life. I hope you are, or become, confident in your intelligence, personality, style, body, all of it; I hope you are happy with who you are as a person. And if you’re not, I hope you will consider breaking your old habits for the new ones of a person who believes in their-self and loves their-self. It’s hard to do but it is achievable, all you need is time, patience, and persistence.

Live your life confidently.