It is easily the best job in the word. What other profession lets you pretend to be 10 years old and pays you for it? But do not be mistaken, it is not a task for the faint of heart (or stomach). It takes a special breed of human to be a true summer camp champ. There are things no one tells you when you sign up, so here are just a few things all of us counselors will understand.
1. The first day of camp (n.): a day in which children are cleverly disguised as magical little pixies in cute outfits, clean hands and perfect manners.
Ahh yes, the first day of camp. They emerge from their various minivans, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, looking like little models on the front of a Macy's catalog. With a hug and kiss from mom, they're handed into your care. It's go time, there is not turning back. But hey, how could these little angels ever do anything besides be adorable?
2. Give it an hour.
Jesus himself could not shape-shift as quickly as kids at summer camp do. Within the first twenty minutes, someone is crying, best friends are chosen, and you're pretty sure you're missing a kid or two. This should be fun.
3. There's always that one counselor who is just basically an oversized camper.
In a way, it's sort of adorable. Seeing them so, uh, 'at home' around the kids is pretty funny. But after a while, everyone starts to realize that having a giant 10-year-old running around is the least helpful thing when trying to wrangle 100+ kids every day. But at least they're young at heart, right?
4. There is nothing more pointless than taking a shower before a day at camp.
Sure, during the school year an A.M . shower is a great wakeup call. But during summer camp? That's just a waste of water, time, and precious energy. It is an unspoken agreement that being a camp counselor also means being a human art project,a life-sized Barbie, and a napkin. Sweet.
5. Even when you take off your uniform, you don't really take off your uniform.
Some wear the "camp tan" as a badge of honor, while others hide it like like a dirty secret. No matter how you feel about it, it is bound to happen. Sure, you may feel a little embarrassed when you're in your homecoming dress next to ten other perfectly tanned bodies. But let's be real here, who REALLY had the better summer?
6. Being constantly surrounded by tweens makes you a little more thankful for puberty every day.
It's a time no one wants to remember, but no one can forget. Hormones, hair, and Hot Topic...it's a lot to navigate. While we all can sympathize with the awkwardness and confusion of the campers, you can't help but breathe a sigh of relief knowing you're not in their shoes. And no, that is not Beans from Even Stevens throwing up a peace sign, it's me in sixth grade. (White eyeshadow, what a look!)
7. Red Rover is just really premature lesson on border control
It looks innocent, it looks fun, but "Red rover, Red rover, send Jimmy right over" loosely translates among children to "Jimmy, you about to get wrecked, son". Poor Jimmy.
8. You will never be 100 percent sure which twin is which.
Oh yes, the twins. There's always a pair of twins, and they usually do everything together. Because really, the job would be just too easy if all you had to do was remember 100 different kids, right? Why not throw a couple of doubles in there just to spice it up! But really, why do their parents have to dress them the same?!
8. Trying to do adult things after camp feels unnatural and wrong on every level.
Because after a while, you forget that the word "party" doesn't just refer to s'mores and pajamas. You feel naked without your clipboard, and your friendship bracelets don't match any of your urban outfitters crop-tops. Being grown up is cool, I guess...
9. When you realize that you're making like two dollars an hour, just remember the motto.
You work a full-time job and get paid the salary of a part time one. You complain to your friends, who remind you that all you do is sing and play with glitter all day. This is true, but so does Lady Gaga and she makes a lot more than you.
But in the end none of that matters, because you realize your job freakin' rocks.
