I am a serial dater. A serial dater is a someone who moves from relationship to relationship, with minimal time of being single. For example, Taylor Swift.
Since I was 14 years old, I don't remember being single for a time period longer than three months. You may (or may not) know someone in your life who is constantly in a new relationship. All I can ask is that you don't judge them, because you don't know the internal struggle that they may be going through. If you are a serial dater reading this, then you may not even be aware of why you feel the need to always be with someone. I'm here to help.
The three month mark after my last relationship ended was coming up and I was talking to a new guy, which had been typical for me, so I thought "Well, next relationship, here I come". Little did I know, I was still hurting. Bad.
The thing about serial daters is that we are always hurting. We hurt when a relationship ends, we close up for a little bit, then we so easily open up again, trying to distract ourselves from the previous damage. We are always vulnerable, but so hopeful and willing to find love, that we're not afraid to just give in and fall again, and again, and again.
As much as you want to believe that you can love over and over again so quickly, before you get into that new relationship. Stop and think. Think about all the times you've gotten hurt, and whether or not you're ready to possibly be hurt again. Feeling lonely and just wanting someone to love and love you back is hard. But be selfish for a change and think about yourself and your own needs.
Serial daters are usually stuck in a relationship cycle. What we need to realize is that healing takes time, and it takes a different type of vulnerability. Being single doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever, it's just time to be in a relationship with yourself. If you continually dedicate yourself to another person, it drains you. You are not an accessory. You are not a counselor. You do not owe anyone anything. You need to grow as your own person, as an individual. Partners will come and go, but the only person you'll indefinitely live with for the rest of your life is YOU.
It took me six months to get over my last relationship with the guy I thought I was going to marry, which I thought was going to be impossible. [https://www.theodysseyonline.com/the-one-you-thought-you-were-going-to-marry?ref=fb] It also took me a lot of strength for me to realize that I needed to stay single for as long as I have been.
So to all the serial daters of the world, you will find love, just love yourself first.
