To date, Confessions of a Mask has been one of my favorite novels. Yukio Mishima gives the reader a completely naked and frank window into the development of homosexuality, and being the person that he is (look up Yukio Mishima), he opens a world that the majority of the world has no knowledge of. This is not coming from the point of view of a victim mentality about being gay, or a place of prejudice towards heterosexuality. In my opinion, society is still trying to understand the dynamics of male-female sexuality. Society has not fully achieved a healthy balance between men and women on a sexual level, and it contributes to much of the misunderstanding between the sexes. If that is the case, how is it that a society that prizes itself on skewed views on heterosexuality will be able to fully understand and respect homosexuality between men and women? To me, it is like saying a person who hasn’t fully mastered the basics of addition and subtraction is going to be able to understand complex algebraic equations.

As a gay man, I understand what Mishima is discussing as he tells Kochan’s story in four chapters, because I went through the same journey and I am still on it. It may be a little narrow-minded to say this, but I do not think that the average person who isn’t of the LGBTQ community would be able to understand and respect Kochan’s story. Mishima discusses sexuality to a level where it would embarrass most people. Though we pride ourselves on our ability to create sexual and erotic imagery, to truly delve into the subject matter on any level is uncomfortable for society. Those who have active sex lives with numerous partners (now, more and more people have had at least one same-sex partner), are seen as low and with a one-track mind, even though they may not be. Then there are those who discuss and analyze sex from a point of view of trying to understand it unearth truths which are really not too difficult to reach, but are uncomfortable for people to embrace, as it is a truth in themselves that they cannot accept. Mishima’s discussion of his sexual coming-of-age (or bildungsroman) runs the gamut of overall sexual development: what images helps Kochan develop his sexuality, how he came to develop certain fetishes, masturbation, how he fell in lust, and how he fell in love. What is interesting to note here is that there was no question of his identity and his preferences from a young age….his homosexuality naturally developed in a way that is no different from a heterosexual.

While reading Confessions of a Mask, I immediately saw Kochan as an old soul, a person born with an inherent wisdom. There are several different ways to tell, but when a person starts talking about remembering their birth, regardless if the picture they have is accurate as to the actual event, you can be sure that the person is older than they look. I believe in reincarnation, that we live multiple lives and that after we die, we are reborn into a new body, and sometimes we take some of our memories and experiences from previous lives into our new ones. Kochan’s observations on the behaviours of the adults around him, his perspectives on both masculine and feminine beauty, and the overall concept that he sees everyone trying to hide their real feelings from each other (he thought these things as a child) is a clear indication to me of someone who came into his life with opinions, knowledge, and a personality rather than having learned it from the people around him.

*Part 2 of A Review of Confessions of Mask coming out next week!