I started bartending only a few days after my eighteenth birthday, fresh out of high school. Although this wasn't the first job I ever had, nothing could've prepared me for what was in store. Here are some of the things that occur while being a bartender at a pretty young age:
Customers will literally think that you're twelve.
Weird looks followed by, "Are you old enough to work here?" comments are a daily occurrence. I've had to show customers my ID just to prove that I was actually old enough to work at a bar. Do you know how sad that looks? I'm supposed to be questioning if they're the ones who are old enough to be there, it shouldn't be the other way around! If I had a dime for every time someone asked if I was underage, I'd have WAY more money than the crappy tip the person who questioned me probably left.
You get thrown into the jungle.
I never realized how rowdy, delusional, and insane people can get after a full night of drinking. No, I'm not talking about people falling and spilling drinks all over the place (that's a normal Saturday night occurrence). I'm talking about people threatening to bomb each other's houses over a game of darts. I'm talking about some guy's girlfriend drunkenly crying on the floor because he ate the last piece of pizza. I'm talking about a mob of intoxicated moms fighting a coach over middle school football. It's like live reality television. I stopped trying to calm everyone down because no one listens to the twelve-year-old anyway.
Drunk men become creepier than you thought.
Despite the fact that everyone thinks I look like I'm twelve years old, apparently a lot of guys don't really care! I remember the first time I ever got hit on while working, I was appalled. The guy had to be at least twenty-five years old. I was so close to accusing him of being a pedophile, but then I remembered I was eighteen and an actual adult (kinda). Do you know how horrible that realization was? Shortly after, I began to find it hilarious, especially when I get hit on by men over fifty. There's something so unbelievably hysterical about seeing their faces of reevaluation when you tell them that you're old enough to be their daughter.
No one ever takes you seriously.
Because I am "twelve" years old, not a lot of customers respect the very little authority that I have as a bartender. When I learned that I had the right to cut people off or deny them service, I felt like a total badass! That all ended really quickly, though, when I realized that no one actually took me seriously. I've had people actually laugh in my face when I told them they were done drinking for the night. I usually have to go get one of my "older" coworkers to do it for me. How hilarious is that? Let's also not forget all the times people have given me attitude right from the start for no reason what-so-ever. Those kinds of customers learned very quickly not to mess with the sass master.
Seeing disgusting things is inevitable.
Let's just keep this one short and not go into detail for the sake of not scarring the minds of the readers. The first time I've ever seen two people sneak into the bathroom together was the most baffling moment of my young adult life. It got even more interesting when my coworker had to bang on the door to get them out. I have plenty more examples, but I'll spare you.
People question your intelligence.
I'm convinced that when I started bartending, customers and coworkers probably thought I wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. I had no idea what to do, how to do it, or what anything was. For a whole month, I thought that Yuengling Lager was a craft beer. Being under twenty-one is a huge inconvenience when it comes to being a bartender. Nothing beats having to awkwardly say, "I have no idea," when a customer asks you what something tastes like.
You become everyone's little sister.
Regardless of some of the downfalls of being a very young bartender, one major upside is becoming everyone's little sister. You suddenly become untouchable to any rude or creepy customers because you're now the baby of the group. That's right, every single coworker has my back, so come at me!
