It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to sit and write an article. I've started a job recently which is quite a bit to pile on with being a mom and doing school online.
I find myself just completely exhausted some days and rarely get a moment to myself. Needless to say that my self-care is severely lacking.
Just to catch you all up to speed. Haley, my dog, is set to go to North Carolina later this month to receive her Bone Marrow Transplant. She is holding her second remission and doing great. This was the whole purpose for the job since we have to pay a hefty deposit for the procedure.
So, I got a job. The hours suck SO BAD. I work from 11 am to 8 pm. Monday through Friday. The hours help for the whole sleeping in thing but I get nothing done during the week. By the time I come home I'm exhausted from the day and have so many things that need to get done.
Like most moms, I know the housework needs to get done but also feel the need to collapse into a mini coma on the couch once arriving home. My son hates the fact that I work. I know in the two months I've had the job he has asked me to quit like three times.
Aside from the housework and things needing to be done there is a moment when I get home that everyone, including Haley, wants my attention. Of course, I feel bad and try to give everyone some time with me.
My confessions for this week: I put off my homework for my Anatomy & Physiology class until yesterday. I know! Not smart. I had to spend hours of my weekend on the computer while my family was left doing things to occupy their time until I was done.
My son only got two baths this week. And I felt horrible about that. The mom guilt is real.
In my head, I have quit my job like a hundred times this past week because I just don't like the work I do.
It's hard holding all of it down. The job, doing well in school so my GPA stays high, taking care of the home and my family. Some days I wish for a mini-vacation just for me so I get time to recharge my tired soul.
I feel that as a mom there are never enough hours in the day to complete all my tasks. I'm the type that likes to get all the stuff done and just have time to chill. Some days though it just doesn't happen that way.
I get run down and just exhausted and wonder why I have to continue doing everything when I could just say forget it and stay in bed all day. But, the mom responsibilities won't let me be. I feel like I always have to be doing something. Like my dad told my mom I'm allergic to sitting down!
These are the start of my weekly confessions. I know I'm not the only mom that feels the way I do. I'm going to share so you all don't have to feel guilty alone. We have to remember as moms we are only human, no matter how other people see us. We don't possess superpowers that make us invincible (Although I wish I did). We mess up just like the rest.
