It’s warm, it’s sweet, it knows just how to wake you up in the morning. That’s right, it’s coffee. There is nothing better in the world than that first sip of coffee in the morning. Except maybe that second cup, or that 3pm dark roast that kicks your butt back in gear and helps you finish up your day. Or maybe the after dinner cup. Okay, let’s face it, coffee is just great all of the time. I have been an avid coffee drinker since I was a freshman in high school. Once college started, the morning cup turned into the every hour on the hour cup, and I thought that was a lot until I landed a job at a coffee shop. Let’s just say, I’m 99.9% sure I’ve got espresso running through my veins now. Fellow coffee addicts, you know the struggle too well.
No talkie before coffee
It’s not that we don’t like you. It’s not even that we don’t love seeing your face bright and early in the morning. It’s just that we physically, mentally, and emotionally do not have the ability to coherently form a thought before we drink coffee. Seriously. Don’t be offended by the blank stare or short answers. Just give us 5-10 minutes alone with good ole Joe, and we will become functioning humans again.
Even bad coffee is good coffee
It doesn’t matter. We don’t discriminate. We love you coffee, and we are willing to take you in all forms. Even that horrible, nasty, French vanilla gas station form. I mean, you are our one true love. We must accept you and love you and your all powerful caffeine regardless.
The caffeine headache
You don’t know pain until you’ve experienced one of these. Day so busy you forgot to grab your second cup? Don’t worry, you’ll remember as soon as your head starts pounding. It’s like your brain is saying hey wait, we didn’t get that 10:00 latte with the extra shot, what are you doing man?
The caffeine starts to lose its effect
That’s one of the negative side effects of our nice little addiction. Remember when you were younger and one cup of half milk half coffee kept you wired up for hours? Not anymore. You could now drink a cup black and head right to sleep no problem. Actually, sometimes drinking coffee makes you sleepy. What is this black magic?! At this point in time, you’ve got to start switching to the hard stuff. I’m talking straight shots of espresso here, and even then sometimes you could still go for a power nap.
People make a disgusted face when they taste your coffee
Coffeeholics are very familiar with the phrase “You actually drink this?” When someone asks to take a sip of your coffee, your immediate response is “you won’t like it.” Making coffee for your friends becomes out of the question. They ask you to make something that will wake them up, and then get mad when they haven’t been able to go to sleep for the next four days. It’s not our fault, we only put half of our usual shots.
They say that the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one, but let’s be honest, do we really want to kick the habit? Not at all. We have a love affair going on with our sweet fix and we aren’t looking to let it go anytime soon. So for those of you who have somehow made it to your early 20s without developing the need to caffeinate yourself every 60 minutes or so, be patient. We can function in normal society, we just have to have about 8 cups of coffee first.
