The last time I looked in the mirror, I frowned. The time before that, I cringed and prayed that the next time I took a glance at my reflection, something would be different. I entered high school with the body of a twelve year-old and wondered why it was taking so long for me to look like everyone else. Sometimes I wonder if I ever reached that milestone. It’s, unfortunately, become routine for me to compare myself to my friends. One is thin. One has a killer body. Another’s hair looks perfect all the time. And then there’s me. All of the energy I spent in high school trying to grow completely comfortable in my own skin seems to have been for naught, and I’m not sure if it’s my image or that realization that makes me the most disappointed.
My mom, like the best moms do, likes to remind me that I am beautiful just the way I am, and though I should believe her, I don’t most of the time. It’s takes so little effort to be down in the mouth about my appearance that I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I was actually content with it. If you’re like me and find yourself constantly comparing your looks to your friends and wishing you looked different, congratulations. You’re human, it’s normal, and it’s not permanent.
A personal battle I’ve been fighting recently is learning how not to compare my appearance to others. It’s easy to make the comparisons, but I found out the hard way that the more time I spend making them, the more unhappy I become. I spend so much time focusing on what everyone else has that I forget the things I have that make me, well, me. I’m not alone in this. In fact, in 2015, 31 percent of female college students reported that their body image was “traumatic or very difficult to handle.” That’s detrimental and it is unfortunate that so many of us, including myself, despise what they see in the mirror. So many of us often become uber-focused on what’s imperfect or what we don’t have or what we wish we had that we forget to notice those things about us that make us perfectly beautiful, just the way we are.
This doesn’t mean that we should settle for what we look like if we’re terribly unhappy. Do you want stronger legs? Go hit the ground running and tone them. Want to discover those hidden abs? Go for it, but don’t beat yourself up if your body doesn’t look like someone else. If you looked exactly like them, you’d be a copy, not an original. That’s not you. Change your appearance because you want to, not because you feel like you have to or need to.
Will you like what you see every time you look in the mirror to apply your mascara? No, and you wouldn’t be human if you did. The next time you happen upon your own face in the looking glass, find a reason to smile. It doesn’t have to be about your appearance. It could be a favorite memory, or a funny joke someone told you that day, or a moment where you were unbelievably happy. That smile you see? It’s genuine. It means something. It’s you. Suddenly, looking in the mirror isn’t so scary anymore if you see yourself happy. A smile can go a long way.
You're only given one life and one body. Treat them right. Appreciate them. Love them, despite all the times you don't think you can. I’m still learning to not be afraid of the mirror and my reflection. My body is a part who I am, and I know that despite all its imperfections, it’s beautiful. If you’re reading this, I don’t have to look at you to know that you’re absolutely, truly beautiful too.
