I am a synesthete. No, it’s not like a mathlete, it is the crossing of senses in the brain. Synesthesia can take on many forms in different people. For example, some people they can taste or smell words, others might feel different temperatures of different colors. I can see colors in sounds. When I listen to music I can see the different instruments and the different tones as different colors and different shapes. People’s voices have different colors as well. This is how I have always seen the world and to me it is as normal as breathing.

I remember the first time I learned that not everyone sees colors. I was in a psychology class my junior year of high school. We started talking about synesthesia and I remember thinking how silly it was because of course everyone could see colors when they heard sounds. I remember mentioning something along those lines to my friend ad having her just give me this look of “no we don’t, this is not a thing normal people do”. I was completely blown away. It just completely baffled me that the way I see the world is not the way most people see the world. The rest of the day I spent quizzing people on what it was like to not see music when they hear it - much like they now do to me.

Every time someone learns that I am a synesthete they ask me what color their voice is and they always get this look of awe and amazement and tell me how cool it is. This is always a fun conversation because to me it seems like someone is amazed that I breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide (which is, truthfully pretty cool). To me, it is amazing that when non-synesthetes listen to music, it is only in their mind. The music travels to their ears through the air, completely invisible! I think it is incredible that some people can close their eyes when they listen to music and be completely engulfed in this invisible energy without any outside stimulus! How incredible that must feel to be able to block out everything by closing your eyes and just enjoying the music. How much less distracting it would be to listen to background music when that is all it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my synesthesia. It is a part of me and I think maybe I can enjoy music a little differently because it is coming from two of my senses instead of one. It has helped me remember songs better, it has helped me be able to play piano without sight-reading, and some songs are just so visually and auditorily beautiful I have been moved to tears and I would not trade it for anything.

I would love to be able to share a piece of my world with you, but without being able to play you a song and paint in the air around you, this article will have to do.

Imagine reading along to an audiobook. You are hearing the words from the audiobook in the narrator’s voice and you are also seeing the words on the page. You can see the rhythm of the narrator’s voice as how quickly you read over the words. Does he/she slow down when they read a certain section? Do they talk louder on some words? Now imagine that in these sections, the words on the page grow longer to match the slower pace of the narrator. Then maybe they are a little bit bigger and bolder to show when the narrator is talking louder. Now imagine the words on the page are colors. The louder the music plays, the bolder the colors get. When the music is staccato there are little bursts of color. Now the colors are floating off the page. They are surrounding you in every direction you look. Little pops of sound here and there and waves on the longer notes. They surround you, flowing with the music, changing, dancing. The violins play as deep purple strings, the bass like dull blue pulsing in the background. Maybe the singer’s voice comes next. A flowing red ribbon getting thicker or thinner with their inflection. Then throw in some horns. Like little, multi-colored paint smudges, bursting at first and slowly fading away.

Before you know it, you have a whole collage of colors surrounding you, engulfing you. This is music. This is the color of sound.