College Student Thoughts, As Told By Bob's Burgers

College Student Thoughts, As Told By Bob's Burgers

The Belcher's are one of the greatest TV families around and we can all relate to one of them at some point.
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The family we all know and love describes so many thoughts that college students have perfectly. Whether it's Linda's random singing or Tina's groaning, we all can relate to one of the Belcher's or their crazy friends.

1. Going to your least favorite class of the week

Impatiently watching the clock, just waiting for the class to be over. Time seems to go by slower when you watch the clock the entire time.

2. When thinking about taking a nap and eating lunch gets the best of you

Gene is all of us everyday of the week.

3. Buying books for class and looking at the price

Seriously, why are textbooks so expensive? They should just be free.

4. When your friends ask you to go workout with them

Well, let's see. I haven't worked out in over a year and I'd rather just sit here and eat ice cream while watching Netflix.

5. Complaining to your roommates about how stressful your life is

Having papers, quizzes and projects due all at the same time and on top of that finding time to eat, sleep and work. So many things to do, so little time.

6. When you get a big paycheck at work

Watch out world, I'm making the big bucks and next Christmas is on me!

7. When you think you're dying so you go on WebMD to see what's wrong with you

Always thinking we have cancer because we believe everything we read online.

8. Ordering two appetizers at half apps

Sometimes you just need to treat yourself but then you end up not finishing both of them.

9. Studying for finals but trying to get sleep in at the same time

Sleep is for the weak anyways, right? We'll just run on caffeine and sugar.

10. When someone asks you about spring break

It's only October, why are you asking me about spring break? Either way, we're still thinking about it.

11. When someone starts talking about someone you don't like and you're trying to keep your cool

Hearing that one name makes us cringe more than ever.

12. When your professor doesn't curve the test scores because one student got 100%

Which means you ended up failing that exam and there's no way you can retake it. You win some you lose some.

13. "Hey are you okay?"

I just took three exams, had multiple homework assignments due and had to give a speech today, but it's okay. Everything's fine, can't you tell?

14. "Are you sure you want to do that? It seems dangerous and illegal."

Whatever it is, as long as it's fun and we don't get caught, I'm in.

15. When it's finally Friday and you can relax for the weekend

Realizing that everything is going to be okay, just keep your head up and stay positive. We only get one chance to be in college so we have to make the most of it.




Cover Image Credit: Vulture

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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Toulouse Grande, Ari's Dog, Stole The Spotlight In The 'thank u, next' Music Video

Any dog other than Toulouse Grande? Thank you, next!

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For those of you who don't know (or who are jumping on the Ariana Grande train just now), Toulouse is one of Ariana's many dogs. He's appeared in a few other music videos, like 'Right There' and 'No Tears Left To Cry'. However, his cameo was most prominent in her latest music video for 'thank u, next', which, by the way, broke YouTube records.

1. He's first seen rolling up with Ari, dressed as Elle Woods from Legally Blonde

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Toulouse called shotgun.

2. Toulouse stars as Bruiser Woods, Elle's sidekick

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Name a more iconic duo.

3. He's featured in some close-ups

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Every other dog on the planet is QUAKING in their boots.

4. Toulouse has no fear of the spotlight with his mommy by his side

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Nerves? Thank you, next.

5. He even wears his own custom swimsuit 

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He's living his best life.

6. How could you forget his studded collar?

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This collar probably costs more than my car.

7. He is completely unfazed by the cameras 

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He was BORN for showbiz.

8. At one point he literally watches himself on TV

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An absolute ICON.

9. He was even seen being pampered in behind the scenes footage

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Sadly, this scene didn't make it to the actual music video.

10. He got all the affection in between takes

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Only the best smooches for Toulouse.

11. Toulouse was an absolute spotlight-stealer

Hannah Lux Davis

He is killing it.

12. Keep living your best life, Toulouse!

Hannah Lux Davis

We'll keep living vicariously through you.

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