Well, well, well, would you look at that? The summer is quickly coming to an end and you know what that means: it's fall semester. For returning students, we all know what is essential for school.
Incoming freshmen: this is the part where you pay attention. This list will provide you with the most necessary tools needed to succeed in college. Best of luck to you, young grasshopper.
1. A binder.
You'll buy six binders, convincing yourself you're gonna use all of them, but you won't. Not even close. You'll use one binder for all of your classes to limit the amount of crap in your bag.
Also, you're going to lose everything in your binder.
2. A pen and pencil.
Think you won't lose your pen or pencil by the fourth week of class? Think again. Keep one of each handy because you never know when you might actually need to take notes on paper.
3. A phone charger.
No one wants to lend you their phone charger. I promise you this. Bring your own phone charger with you everywhere you go. If you're going to class, the library, Starbucks, or even the bar, bring your charger. And put your name on it.
4. A juul and pods.
Because if you're going to college, you need to fit in, right? Invest $50 in a Juul and $17 in a pack of pods and watch your new nicotine addition grow right before your eyes.
5. Pedialyte.
It's not just for kids anymore. Dehydration is very real, kids, and you'll need to get in as many electrolytes before your next class. Stock up on bottles of Pedialyte.
6. A notebook.
If you have a laptop or tablet, you probably won't ever use your notebook. But hey, you sure do feel productive when you take your notebook to class and doodle in it.
7. Caffeine pills.
Sure, a midday $7 coffee will wake you up, but imagine this: caffeine in a pill. It's brilliant. It will keep you going. You won't even feel the crash until the next day after you've been up for 36 hours.
8. A laptop or tablet.
If you put stickers on your laptop or tablet that you ordered from RedBubble, and they're super basic, you are silently being judged. Also, remember to bring your laptop or tablet to class so you can pretend to take notes during lecture.
9. Headphones.
Because there's no better way to ignore people than to wear headphones.
10. A Backpack.
It's got to be a multipurpose backpack- good for school, even better for day drinking.
11. Sweatpants.
Definitely not Lululemon pants, but more of "I dragged myself out of bed for this" sweatpants. I'm pretty sure they're like $9 at Walmart.
12. A gym membership.
Not like you're really gonna use it, but having that little plastic tag on your keychain so everyone thinks you work out is cool.
13. A Spotify or Apple Music Subscription.
No one wants to hear the ads on Pandora. It isn't 2012 anymore. Upgrades for students are cheap and you can listen to Drake whenever you're in your feelings.
14. A credit card.
You can't be a functioning adult in today's society if you don't have some credit card debt!
15. A terrible fake ID
Does the fake ID make you 12 years older than you are? Did you find an ID on the floor and the person looks nothing like you? Is the card snapped in half and expired?
Congratulations, you made it in the club.
