If the summer after high school graduation you showed me the person that I am today, I'd have a hard time believing it was me. I'm halfway done with college now, and I feel more like myself than ever.
When I left high school, my dream was to go to college far away from everyone and everything that I know and get out of my small town bubble. I was an introvert to say the least, and I wanted a new place to try and break out of my shell once and for all. It was only when I got to my college in California that I realized that I didn't need to move across the country to find myself- and I didn't want to. I spent one semester away before returning to New York to finish out my college years. I felt more at home and part of a community in my home state, and I guess I wasn't quite ready to give that up.
I always struggled with decisions, hence why I had to end up transferring schools. I'm insanely indecisive. My first huge real decision to move away didn't work out, but I was sure that my decision to move back was the right one. I finally felt confident about an important choice that I made, and I see this as a large influence on my outlook and self esteem. Sure, I made a mistake with my first choice, but I was able to come back from it stronger than ever.
Transferring meant that I had to find a group of friends while everyone else had already been there for an entire semester before me. Making friends in college is definitely harder than people make it out to be, with the cliques that form so quickly. This was a little bit intimidating, but the fact that I was introduced to some people before going made me feel more comfortable with the transition. Joining my sorority was something I didn't ever imagine for myself, but is another decision that I am extremely proud of. I put myself out there in ways that I never could have in high school, and I noticed myself being more talkative and relaxed in social environments.
Halfway through college and I know that I will probably experience so much more change and so many more important decisions before my time at school is over. I still don't even know what I want to do after graduation! Maybe my indecisiveness hasn't changed, but I do believe my mentality has. I used to view decisions as life or death and black or white, when in reality they don't have to be so rigid. I learned that it's okay to make mistakes or change your mind about things if you know that it feels right. I don't beat myself up over these things anymore, or care what anyone has to say about them either. I've slowly become more confident in my own skin and only have college and the road it's taken me on to thank.
