Lately, I've noticed a trend here on Odyssey where people are publishing clever articles about "If College Majors Were _____" and I have to say that I've found them pretty entertaining. So entertaining, in fact, that I wanted to honor this trend with a list of my own! Without further ado, here are college majors as Odyssey article genres:
1. Communications - 500 Words On
Rarely ever do writers stick to the 500 word-count. Similarly, Comm majors never seem to know when to stop talking, do they? Like the 500 Words On pieces, Comm majors have a lot to say, tend to ramble on about their ideas, and probably have a lot of political undertones although they promise to NEVER talk about their political views. But, hey, they usually have the best intentions?
2. Art - Adventure
Listen, Art majors are some of the most adventurous people I've ever met. Honest! I never even thought anyone could have that many piercings on their face, and they're always dying their hair different colors! And don't even get me started on those paintings and sculptures (because, really, who knows what's going on there).
3. Liberal Arts - Humor
I looked up what a Liberal Arts major really was because I truly didn't believe it was a real major. I'm not saying I assigned Liberal Arts to Humor because it's a joke, but the most common descriptors of this major are "useless" and "difficult to find employment" so you can conclude what you want.
4. Political Science - Ideas
Poly-Sci majors are filled to the brim with ideas. Naturally, they have to share their views and opinions about why America is crashing and burning today. What else are they supposed to do with their ideas? Actually, put them into action??
5. Music - Lifestyle
Of course the Music majors fit perfectly with the Lifestyle genre. They're all really just in their own world, aren't they?
6. Pre-Med - Lookbook
Lookbook, so you were thinking fashion and art, weren't you? Clearly you don't realize just how familiar the Pre-Med students are with bodies. All those cadavers in the freezer? All those hours and hours and hours of studying human biology? When they look, they see too much.
7. Criminal Justice - Scene
Am I a bad Odyssey creator for having no clue what the Scene category means? Could I just ask my editor to explain it to me? Could I have just pretended that I knew what I was talking about like I did for Lifestyle and Lookbook? Yes, yes, and yes. Honestly, the I just thought that the pun opportunity here was too great. Get it? Scene... Like a crime SCENE? Ha!
8. Outdoor Leadership & Recreation - Sports
Weren't expecting that one, huh? Sports Management and Physical Therapy were too obvious of pairings. No major screams "Sports" than Outdoor Leadership & Recreation. Like, c'mon! Ultimate Frisbee, mountain climbing, learning how to tie knots and start a fire? That's the real sport.
9. Spanish - The List
This match really makes the most sense to me. All those "-ar" verbs with their conjugations? Every Spanish major is all too familiar with lists of words.
