The first month of college has been the best learning experience of my life. Much of my learning, however, has not come from what you might expect.
It comes from walking around campus, riding in the elevator, sitting on the quad, eating in a dining hall, talking to friends, and every other day to day activity. This learning curve has occurred because I am all on my own.
While I'm not entirely alone, I am usually with other people, many of those I have learned to call my friends, but they aren't familiar to me. I'm not comfortable with the people I am around like I am with the people back home. This aspect of early college life makes my thoughts are my best company because I am the only one who can look out for me.
I have spent every second I am here worrying about myself. It’s something that sounds so selfish that I never tried it before, yet know that I’ve been forced to face this crazy, new world on my own. In order to grow here, I have to take a lot of time for myself to breathe and process.
If I told my high school self this, I probably would be terrified, but it is the best thing for me.
The whole point of college is to learn about yourself and leave with a plan for the rest of your life, and the first step in that is self-acceptance. I know that I am on the difficult path, working to reach that point.
In these long four weeks of nonstop work and stress, I have somehow began to find peace and acceptance within myself. I've learned to accept my flaws and work with them rather than trying to hide from them. I've pushed past insecurities to make friendships and relationships that are so beneficial to me, and that is making me a better person overall.
Another major point about all of this self-refection is the reevaluation of what you want for your life. In the comfort of high school, prior to starting college, things that seemed impossible for your future become possible.
For many, that means changing their majors to something they are passionate about rather than something fulfilling an expectation, and for others it could mean trying new things that they don't have access to in their hometowns and falling in love with that. I am surrounded by people who are always questioning the decisions they made in the past and people who are seriously considering a change in path. I am included in that narrative.
Most people starting college are on their own and left to their own thoughts and doing their own things that it leads to a realm of self-discovery, and we are all going through it together.
With all of the thoughts that come with planning for the future all on your own, it's also a time of great reflection on the past.
Personally, I learned how much my family and hometown mean to me. The saying, "distance makes the heart grow fonder" has definitely rung true. I am over 300 miles away from my roots and I would be lying if I did not say that I miss the comfort of it all.
The nostalgia has made me realize how thankful I am for the things in my life that offered such comfort in the past. I often think of my high school clubs and classes that I loved, and I miss it all incredibly, yet I am so thankful for it. With that being said, I'm even more thankful to be passed that point. Time has turned all of that into memories and I am so happy for all of the experiences I gained from being a part of them.
Now I look forward to all of the things that will take the place of what I am nostalgic of. I have branched out and discovered who I am without them, and soon I will continue that growth and find things that make me as happy as they did, and I already have.
I have changed so much from who I was the day my parents and I piled all my things into a shoebox of a room late this summer, and I cannot wait to see the person I become by the time I am packing up my final dorm room, driving towards the future that college is leading me to.
