A week ago, I took an Uber to an interview. I can’t remember what number interview it was, how many exams I’d taken that week, the last time I ate, or how long I’d spent straightening my hair that morning. But I DO remember telling my Uber driver how exhausted I was. To my dismay, she responded with:
“Honey, it only gets worse.”
That phrase terrified me. I think about it—the nights I’ve spent in Club West hyped up on espresso with my computer screen set to Business Finance until 3 AM, the hours I’ve passed on the phone with other organizations planning events or companies that owe me money, the times I’ve opened the fridge and settled for chocolate milk for dinner because everything else requires too much effort, the nights I’ve lied in bed and thought “Please God, can I get at least 6 hours in tonight?”, and the periods I’ve deleted my snapchat and turned my phone on silent because staring at the wall with no distractions has gradually become the most relieving past time.
“Honey, it only gets worse.”
But it’s not just school and organizations. It’s family, it’s mental health, it’s money, it’s boyfriends and girlfriends. Is my family okay? Am I sane? Will anyone ever want to date me? Will I get a job when I graduate? I’m not only talking about myself, here, I’m talking about everyone. Such pressures lead more to exhaustion than anything else, I feel, because ultimately school is a grade, it is 3 digits at the top of your resume, some numbers on your transcript. But these pressures are LIFE. They encompass pivotal decisions that transcend all academics, decisions that keep you up at night before and after you make them.
“Honey, it only gets worse.”
I think a lot of it has to do with how we design our schedules. In high school, it was all laid out for us as this cookie-cutter routine. You wake up, you go to school, you do whatever extra curriculars you were involved in directly after school—be it your soccer team or your job—you come home, you make dinner and help with other chores or family needs, you sleep.
In college, we make our own schedules. We have this blessed privilege called Unlimited Freedom which may or may not lead to our downfall. We want to do everything—be in every organization, go out, date, eat at quirky restaurants, spend money, go to thrift stores and buy odd things to decorate our walls with, and hit up the gym. Yet somehow, we expect ourselves to take on a full course load, score jobs, handle the unpredictability that comes with our futures and loved ones, and stay healthy. It’s no wonder the Freshman 10 is a thing.
Ultimately, I’d say the most exhausting aspect of college is the uncertainty. The pressure of having many tasks that matter immensely and not knowing where those tasks will lead you.
To combat this, try meditating, going on a walk to clear your head, or take a smoothie break. But honestly, just sitting on a nice couch and closing your eyes for a few seconds could give you that much needed energy boost.
