I am so blessed to be surrounded by ambitious and intelligent friends and classmates who can talk about their dreams and future careers without a doubt in their mind. School is hard for them, their classes are challenging, but they know it will be worth it because they are passionate about where that A+ will take them one day. These friends are those who want to become doctors, psychologists, teachers, lawyers and engineers. Direct career lines. They strive to make a high GPA because it is the only thing standing between them and changing the world or changing someone’s life...and that’s worth everything to them. I am consistently inspired by these friends, especially towards the end of freshman year.
My grades dropped, I cared less about school than I had previously, I was just trying to get to summer. And now that it is finally summer I have been asking myself what happened, why did I suddenly feel so tired and burdened by my education? I love college, I am happier than I ever have been and I feel excited for my future. But maybe that’s it-what future? What in my future am I looking forward to? Unlike my friends, I don’t know that I will be working in a hospital, a school, or a private office. My degree won’t be specialized to the point that I will be in a certain environment during my career, but rather I could be anywhere. I so badly wish I could be a doctor, a teacher, or an engineer one day. It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be so much simpler; I would know where I will end up, so I could focus on school with the intent of getting to exactly where I know I will be. But I don’t want to spend time teaching, I don’t find physics interesting and I think science is invigoratingly detailed. I would be miserable in any of these fields, as well as the courses required to get there. It wouldn’t be worth it to me, that is something that I do know.
This feeling of not being passionate about a direct career line has left me feeling empty. I began as a Public Relations major, because I love writing. But then I realized I don’t love writing enough to do it forever, so I changed to Marketing. But then I felt like marketing was too generic, after all everyone I know is studying to gain skills, not just a business degree. And then I switched to Textiles, because I thought maybe doing marketing for a fashion company is what I want to do, and this major will get me there easier. Now, the week after completing my freshman year, I get it.
I’m not passionate about any of those things, because they don’t go with my personality. I am passionate about writing, but not for a career, for myself and for my ideas. I am passionate about marketing, because I love the way media advertising connects the consumer to a product or service, makes them feel good about themselves or question the world. And I love fashion because it is a form of expression. I also love traveling, culture, ideas and beliefs estranged to my own, and more than anything--people. I am taking the career path that I am to connect all of the things I love, to live a flexible lifestyle, and to, although stressful, truly be able to end up anywhere-which adds to the excitement.
I don’t know where my degree will take me, and that’s scary. But I do know that if I work hard, it will work out. I will find my way, and my passions will strengthen.
I’m so ready for summer... but I also can’t wait to get back to school to work hard to make my passions turn into my dreams.
