College… college is annoying. I’ve never felt more free in my life; every opportunity I could hope to have is laid out right here in front of me and I'm learning things that I legitimately want to learn beyond simply having things to fill my graduation requirement. I’ve met so many new people and I’m honestly starting to understand why this place starts to feel like home – the guys in my hall are probably some of the funniest people I’ve ever met, my roommate is a pretty freaking cool dude, and the adventures I’ve had in the last two months are definitely not something I’m going to forget anytime soon.
It's been a good time, I’ve got to say.
In almost every childish, dream-like way, college really is everything it was knocked up to be – there’s no one standing over you telling you what you should be doing, there’s really no such thing as a “bedtime,” and the world is your oyster since no one can really tell you what you can and can’t do. It kinda feels like a massive playground (albeit a very expensive playground but ya know you gotta do what you gotta do).
Professors could give less of a damn about what you do or don’t do and it’s really just a matter of how much time and effort you’re willing to put into whatever you’re doing and as long you keep thinking with that mindset everything is just swell.
The problem is, that only lasts so long…
Case in point. College is hard. All the freedom that’s been dropped into my lap has given me all the room for grabbing hold of the new opportunities available to me but I’ve also been smothered with enough work that I never feel like I’ve done enough. That in itself is a situation - the competition here, especially in a school like U of M, feels like a constant struggle for presence let alone dominance. Being surrounded by people that all rank in the top of their respective classes ––people that’re just as, if not more, intelligent than I am–– is an almost suffocating feeling, a feeling that only gets worse should you ever start to fall behind. The workflow does not stop. Funny enough, it almost seems to get unbelievably worse the exact moment you slip.
On top of that, there’s the ever present feeling that none of this actually matters in the long run and, in the words of my best friend, “if I drop out today and decide to start up a sock company that makes really cool socks” I’d totally be able to live a happy and fulfilled life. Like actually though. What’s the point of all these tests that are just memorization of information in the long run anyway?
Meh, why do I want to be a doctor again?
Well, either way, college is one heck of a ride. A wild, annoying, and exhausting ride.