As I got all moved into my dorm and said goodbye to my parents, I did not know how I would feel about the whole college thing. Obviously, it would be fun, and I would get to do just about whatever I wanted, but part of me was still filled with anxiety.
How would I survive without my mom telling me where my tennis shoes are or my dad going to the grocery store every week? Above all, I was scared about growing up. I did not know what college was about or who it would make me as a person.
Being here for a few months, I have realized that college is one of the best things that could have happened to me.
All throughout high school, I had the best friends, but I tended to follow the things they did. I never spoke up with my opinions or with my feelings when someone hurt me. I did the things my friends did, wore what they wore, and acted how they did.
As I got to college, I realized I did not have to act like my friends to be friends with them. I began to embrace the wit, sass, and weirdness I kept mostly secret throughout middle and high school.
Being myself has made me so much more confident in my relationships and schoolwork, so college is definitely better that high school in this aspect.
College has also helped me to embrace my feelings, whether it is in relationships or with myself. In high school, I always kept my mouth shut about how I felt when someone hurt my feelings or if I was mad at the world. I let people run over me and I pretended not to care.
That resulted in insecurities and repeated actions because I never just confronted the issues and took the time to realize how I felt. Any type of feelings always seemed like too much for me, so I always ignored them. I ignored when I was upset with my parents, friends, and myself, which created issues with my relationships and how I viewed myself.
Since being in college, I have begun to confront the issues I have straight up. This has created stronger friendships and less heartache for me. It has helped me to be more in touch with how I feel and be overall happier.
A friend once told me that freshman year is the best because "it's like your baby steps into your own world, so make sure everything you do and habits you pick up are things you actually want to carry with you in life".
This is so true, and I have realized throughout just the first few months that I am making decisions that are impacting the rest of my life. Although this can be scary, it is exciting to see myself change as a student, daughter, friend, and person into who I want to become. In high school, I had so many expectations from my friends and family to be exactly how they want me to be.
In college, I have been able to find myself and strive every day to find that person that I want to become.
