This time a year ago, I was scouring Pinterest, Google, and any blog I could find on how to prepare for the transition into the college world. I absorbed any advice, from how to decorate your dorm room and preparing for classes, to friends changing and how to deal with the boys that inevitably came with the new college environment.
I can't tell you how many tips and tricks and shortcuts I found to make college as easy as possible (LOL), but I can tell you the one thing I learned wasn't mentioned in any article or blog post I came across. If I learned anything my freshman year of college, it wasn't the best study tools (I still haven't figured those out), and it wasn't how to deal with your pot luck roommate from Germany (I switched at semester). The one thing I wish someone would've pulled me aside and said to me was, "you will figure it out."
As harsh and unhelpful as that may sound, even now I find myself breathing a sigh of relief just reading that sentence. You will figure it out.
Being born and raised in a small town, everything had been laid out for me. From elementary school, on, I knew what sports I was going to play in high school, what classes I had to take to graduate, and what friends were going to be by my side along the way. The thought of going to a Division 1 university two hours away from home was frightening, and so exciting at the same time. I had no idea what to expect as I shopped at Bed Bath and Beyond and browsed the dorm collection at Target. The day I left for college, I knew my life was changing in a way I would never expect.
All throughout my freshman year of college, I remember thinking to myself, "Okay, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and I need help now." Everyone seemed to have everything so figured out with their lives on track to be extremely successful, while I was onto my next episode of "The Office." I called my mom multiple times throughout the year as I tried -- tried being the key word -- to hold back the tears and unload how stressed I was because I felt like I wasn't doing enough. And as it goes about 100 percent of the time, my mom was right when she told me it would be okay. As the year went on, I learned how to keep myself on track with classes and my career path (although I still don't have everything together -- not even remotely). I learned there are always people willing to help you and you are smarter than you think. Trust your instincts. You will figure that out.
Another thing I was exposed to was a thrilling yet terrifying species called boys. And not just any kind of boys -- college boys. As if being from a small town didn't spell it out, there wasn't a very large selection from home. That was a different story at college. They. Were. Everywhere. They actually looked like men, too! I felt like I was on an episode of "Grey's Anatomy," where everywhere I looked there were potential suitors that were irresistible to the naked eye. But as those of you who watch "Grey's" know, there were faults with each one of them.
Mistakes left me despising myself and wondering when I had gotten to be so naive. Throughout my own mistakes and watching my friends go through heartbreaks, I learned that boys are not horrible, awful creatures. We are all trying to figure out this thing called life, and while some of us are handling it better than others, we are all trying. I guess what I'm trying to say is cry over the boy who didn't call you back once, and then move on. You will learn that holding onto bitterness and resentment will only leave you feeling worse. Besides, a few years from now you won't even be able to remember his name. Be gracious to yourself and others. You will figure that out.
Perhaps the hardest and most valuable lesson I learned was the one that came with friends. I wasn't so naive to think I would stay close with the people I had graduated with, but I was prepared to make an effort with some of them. I was shocked, hurt, and confused when I learned they weren't making the same effort with me as I felt I was making with them. The people of which I knew every single detail of their lives I found not knowing a single thing. As I tried repeatedly to insert myself into the lives of the people I thought I would be friends with forever, I repeatedly found myself being disappointed. I couldn't figure out why, after all this time, they didn't want me as a part of their lives. As I came home for the summer after my freshman year, I realized it wasn't that they didn't want me as a part of it, it just wasn't the same part as it used to be. They had made new friends and so had I. I had changed and grown, too. I wasn't the same person I was in high school, and that was okay. Change is an important and inevitable aspect of growing up and it took me all year to realize that. Change is okay. You will figure that out.
As I prepare for my sophomore year of college, I can't help but think back on every mistake I made and lesson I learned. As much as I want to help the incoming freshman so that they don't learn the hard way as I once did, I know that some lessons have to be learned on your own. As difficult and seemingly impossible as things that life throws your way may be, just know that there is no one tip, trick, or shortcut that you can find on Pinterest or even any where on this blog post. Don't be too hard on yourself because you will figure it out.
