Ernest Hemingway was once asked to write a full story in only six words. What he came up with was, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Smith Magazine then invited writers to create their own life stories and cram them into only six words. Smith Magazine released a collection of these memoirs, called "Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure." And because six sells, even celebrities have caught the six-word bug like Stephen Colbert with "Well, I thought it was funny" and Joan Rivers with "Liars: hysterectomy didn't improve sex life."
College life is difficult to sum up in just six words, so I, a famous writer (of course) have compiled a list of six-word memoirs that all college students can relate to. The list begins, obviously, with the two college priorities: food and partying.
Food
Hungry but too lazy to move.
Found love in
Partying
Chased with beer, downhill from there.
To party or not to party?
Showed up to 9 a.m. still drunk.
Shouldn't have taken that extra shot.
Found love on fraternity dance floor.
Naps
Drowning in work but napping instead.
To workout or take a nap?
Homework
Exam tomorrow but watching Netflix instead.
The stoop cat ate my homework.
Clothes
Is wearing pajamas to class acceptable?
How does one dress business casual?
Don't own pantsuit, still a child.
People
I see him everywhere I go.
Third wheeling and have no shame.
Guess who I ran into today?
Working out
Sophomore still working off freshman 15.
Only at gym to avoid homework.
Money
Will strip for extra dining dollars.
Dear parents, please send money ASAP.
Communal Bathrooms
Please remove hair from shower drains.
No dumping noodles down sink drain.
Can you tell I haven't showered?
Illness
I caught the campus plague, again.
Too sick for class, not parties.
First name basis with school nurse.
While these six-word memoirs might not reveal as deep of a life story as Hemingway's "For sale: baby shoes, never worn," you know that being "hungry but too lazy to move" pretty much sums up 50 percent of your college career thus far. Hopefully by the time we reach Hemingway's age and level of intelligence, our memoirs will have more meaning to them, and hopefully we will finally own that pantsuit. For now being on a "first name basis with school nurse" will have to suffice. After all, sometimes six words are all you need to sum up a day in the life of a college student.
