They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, 'No, o, no.'
If you have ever dreamt of swimming in Willy Wonka's chocolate river, this one's for you.
Why is chocolate a drug?
The hard facts are that chocolate contains compounds that are related to the active ingredient in marijuana, ecstasy and morphine. No wonder I'm addicted.
Have you ever tried to give up chocolate? One time I gave it up for 48 days. It was miserable and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My friends and family taunted me with my favorite desserts, which are pretty much every dessert, but whatever. I finally broke down on Valentine's Day, which I clearly spent with my family because my invisible boyfriend was out of town. My mom placed a warm chocolate lava cake in front of me and that was the end.
Chocolate is often called the "love drug," fitting considering I gave into it on the day of love. It releases the same chemicals that are introduced into the human body when love comes to call.
Why do people love chocolate so much? Because it truly melts in your mouth. Not to mention it's good for you, well dark chocolate is at least. It contains chemicals that lower the risk of cancer and heart disease. I don't understand why it isn't incorporated with every meal. Chocolate needs to be moved to the bottom of the food pyramid.
If you ever find yourself feeling like Augustus Gloop, just know that you are not alone.
Signs that you may be a chocoholic:
You “give up chocolate…" for an hour.
You will dip literally anything in chocolate, including yourself.
You eat all of your mom's Halloween candy for the neighbors.
You don't react kindly to someone stealing your chocolate.
(no real babies were harmed in the making of this GIF.)
But it's okay for you to steal other people's chocolate.
How you feel when you first lay eyes on chocolate.
You could live off of straight chocolate for the rest of your life.
You struggle to relate with people who don't like chocolate.
How to stop being addicted to chocolate? You simply don't.
There is no 12-step process because no one wants to quit.
Mark your calendars people. The countdown to national chocolate day has begun: October 28th, 2015.
(someone do this for me.)
