What do I want to wear today? Isn’t that a question everyone asks themselves every day? Getting dressed for the day is a fundamental aspect of being a human. I mean, if you don’t wear clothes, then more than likely you’ll get arrested. Clothes are a way for people to express themselves. A way for them to tell others who they are before even starting a conversation.
What clothes don’t normally say is what people want. I can wear a band t-shirt, but that doesn’t mean I want to be in a band. So why is it that when girls are attacked, people say, “Oh, well she was dressed in a short skirt. She was asking for it.” I’m pretty sure no girl wakes up in the morning or gets ready for a night out by asking herself, “Hmm, what can I wear that will get me attacked?” Clothes are a representation of us, not an invitation.
I was inspired to write this article by the art event happening in Waco called "What Were You Wearing, Waco?" It is an art exhibit meant to display that sexual assault is not a result of what the girl did or wore. Like I said earlier, clothes are not an invitation.
So many people will say that the victims of sexual assault were asking for it because of what they were wearing, where they were, or what they were doing. What if a victim had been wearing baggy sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt instead of the tighter skirt or dress? Would she have been treated the same way or would people be more sympathetic?
We still carry around the stigmas from 50 years ago that if a woman isn’t dressed modest enough, then she must be a slut, a whore, a prostitute. But, if a person goes to the store in beat up clothing with holes in it, then does that make them a slob? Homeless? Or could it just mean they wanted to be comfy? They could be a highly sought-after lawyer who is just trying to relax on their day off. So why shouldn’t we afford the same acceptance to those who dress in showier clothing than us?
Another reason I wanted to write this article is that I saw a picture about women stealing Rolex watches from men and the words were written in the same way people talk about what women who were assaulted were wearing. Two women spiked the drinks of men at a bar and stole Rolex watches.
The mocking part is where it asks, why would they wear Rolex watches if they weren’t asking to be robbed? Sounds like a ridiculous notion, right? They weren’t asking to be robbed. They just wanted to wear a watch they liked that just happened to be a Rolex.
Same goes for women’s clothing. A woman wanted to wear a dress because it made her feel pretty and it just happened to be short, low cut, or tight. It doesn’t mean she wants anything else.
Please stop demeaning victims and women in general for what they wear. We are in one of the most diverse and accepting, yet stereotypical and rejecting, eras in history. Accept the fact that people just want to be themselves and that doesn’t give anyone the right to bully them, shame them, attack them regardless of their gender, race, or actions.
Boys, please stop viewing women as objects.
Women, stop judging other women when we all know we don’t appreciate it ourselves.
We shouldn’t have to ask what we want to wear that day and decided what won’t get us bullied, judged, or attacked.
End the cycle of blaming clothes for others' actions, and set the blame in the right place once and for all.
