If College Stereotypes Were Alcoholic Beverages
Arts Entertainment

If Every College Stereotype Was An Alcoholic Beverage

Everyone has their taste in people, just as everyone has their taste in alcohol.

1051

The definition of college is this: 10-page papers, brutal exams, and binge drinking on the weekends. While you spend your time there, you do end up following some sort of stereotype, whether you like it or not.


1. Frat Brothers/Sorority Sisters: Natty Light or Jungle Juice

"Who do you know here?" These are your Vineyard Vines, Sperry-clad party boys and sweet girls. They want to be messed up, binge drink, and want their frat house guests to partake in the same. Natty Light is bland and easy to find, like most frat guys. (Not all of them are this way. There are a few decent ones, but most follow the stereotype.) They've got money to throw and Natty is cheaper than most, so they can buy a lot of it. Jungle juice is the opposing gender–the female army. Most sorority girls are nice and inclusive, like the jungle juice mixture itself.

2. Gym Rats/Student Athletes: Four Loko

"Square up, bro. How much do you lift?" These are the people whose dedication to health and sports are insane, just like Four Loko. Anyone who drinks Four Loko has a death wish. Sometimes, athletes go far beyond the normal workout regimen to achieve peak athleticism. Those athletes are the equivalent of people who shotgun Four Lokos, which is a whole different level of crazy.

3. Hipsters: Blue Moon or an IPA

"But I liked the Lumineers before they were even cool." This alcohol choice shouldn't be shocking, even to the hipsters. Any drink that is really hoppy will attract hipsters. These are the "cool" drinks that are aesthetically pleasing in design, much like a hipster's wardrobe. No one can disagree that their general style isn't cool looking, it's just the obnoxious few that ruin hipsters for everyone. But these people are an acquired taste, much like IPAs or beer in general.

4. Club-goers: Trash Can

"Hey, wanna dance?" We all know the club regulars. These are the people whose tolerance is through the roof. They go clubbing every night, even with a life-altering exam the following day at 8 A.M. No matter the theme night, they're there and they're down for anything. Trash cans are drinks that get you messed up quickly and are as reckless and careless as the club-goers themselves. They not only down these like apple juice, but they'd probably bathe in those cheap drinks to prepare for the next day of partying and creepily walking up behind people instead of asking them to dance.

5. Student Government: Wine 

"Fight for your right!" For those who are sophisticated and have their shit together, wine is the perfect drink. They fight to better the school and to make it better for the students who attend. They're cool, calm, and collected–like most wine. Plus, wine just makes you feel cool when you drink it.

6. Country folk: Bud Light or Moonshine 

"Boi, howdy." This is also pretty unsurprising when one thinks of the country music-loving, custom truck folk. You barely see them, especially when they're wearing camo. You'll never see them coming, much like moonshine's effect. You don't think that moonshine will creep on you that quickly, but it does. There's nothing wrong with this group of people, except for the fact that they like Bud Light.

7. Student employees: Burnett's 

"No, the floatie belt doesn't go with the kickboards." As a student employee, all I need after a long shift is a strong drink. While Burnett's is the Natty Light of vodkas, it gets the job done. Student employees do their jobs and do them well. They have to start paying for college somehow, so their jobs matter. Also, Bernie is a great mixer and helps everyone get along. It rewards those who work hard so that the rest of the students don't have to.

8. Grad students: Whiskey

Older and wiser–much like the maturity of whiskey–they've been through enough college and just want to be ahead of their competition in the real world. Sometimes, the pressures of extra schooling lead them to harder liquor. Who can blame them? They're killing the game and will have a higher-paying job right out of school than we undergrads will. Just know that grad students, no matter their school, are going through a lot and whiskey tends to be the answer.

While not everyone follows their stereotypes, each alcohol fits them perfectly. No one can prove me wrong. No matter how bad these cliques seem, you always end up in one. You might not realize it right away, but you will soon. I just hope it isn't during a drunk revelation because then that turns to alcoholism.

Good luck figuring yourself out!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Therapy Dogs Aren't Just Cute, They're Working

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

There are many different ways people overcome obstacles in their lives. Thankfully, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly (but surely) slipping away and we're opening up about our problems and needs. For some, a good workout is just as relaxing. Others are learning how meditation can be a helpful tool in their mental health journey.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments