If College Stereotypes Were Alcoholic Beverages
Entertainment

If Every College Stereotype Was An Alcoholic Beverage

Everyone has their taste in people, just as everyone has their taste in alcohol.

1057
If Every College Stereotype Was An Alcoholic Beverage

The definition of college is this: 10-page papers, brutal exams, and binge drinking on the weekends. While you spend your time there, you do end up following some sort of stereotype, whether you like it or not.


1. Frat Brothers/Sorority Sisters: Natty Light or Jungle Juice

"Who do you know here?" These are your Vineyard Vines, Sperry-clad party boys and sweet girls. They want to be messed up, binge drink, and want their frat house guests to partake in the same. Natty Light is bland and easy to find, like most frat guys. (Not all of them are this way. There are a few decent ones, but most follow the stereotype.) They've got money to throw and Natty is cheaper than most, so they can buy a lot of it. Jungle juice is the opposing gender–the female army. Most sorority girls are nice and inclusive, like the jungle juice mixture itself.

2. Gym Rats/Student Athletes: Four Loko

"Square up, bro. How much do you lift?" These are the people whose dedication to health and sports are insane, just like Four Loko. Anyone who drinks Four Loko has a death wish. Sometimes, athletes go far beyond the normal workout regimen to achieve peak athleticism. Those athletes are the equivalent of people who shotgun Four Lokos, which is a whole different level of crazy.

3. Hipsters: Blue Moon or an IPA

"But I liked the Lumineers before they were even cool." This alcohol choice shouldn't be shocking, even to the hipsters. Any drink that is really hoppy will attract hipsters. These are the "cool" drinks that are aesthetically pleasing in design, much like a hipster's wardrobe. No one can disagree that their general style isn't cool looking, it's just the obnoxious few that ruin hipsters for everyone. But these people are an acquired taste, much like IPAs or beer in general.

4. Club-goers: Trash Can

"Hey, wanna dance?" We all know the club regulars. These are the people whose tolerance is through the roof. They go clubbing every night, even with a life-altering exam the following day at 8 A.M. No matter the theme night, they're there and they're down for anything. Trash cans are drinks that get you messed up quickly and are as reckless and careless as the club-goers themselves. They not only down these like apple juice, but they'd probably bathe in those cheap drinks to prepare for the next day of partying and creepily walking up behind people instead of asking them to dance.

5. Student Government: Wine 

"Fight for your right!" For those who are sophisticated and have their shit together, wine is the perfect drink. They fight to better the school and to make it better for the students who attend. They're cool, calm, and collected–like most wine. Plus, wine just makes you feel cool when you drink it.

6. Country folk: Bud Light or Moonshine 

"Boi, howdy." This is also pretty unsurprising when one thinks of the country music-loving, custom truck folk. You barely see them, especially when they're wearing camo. You'll never see them coming, much like moonshine's effect. You don't think that moonshine will creep on you that quickly, but it does. There's nothing wrong with this group of people, except for the fact that they like Bud Light.

7. Student employees: Burnett's 

"No, the floatie belt doesn't go with the kickboards." As a student employee, all I need after a long shift is a strong drink. While Burnett's is the Natty Light of vodkas, it gets the job done. Student employees do their jobs and do them well. They have to start paying for college somehow, so their jobs matter. Also, Bernie is a great mixer and helps everyone get along. It rewards those who work hard so that the rest of the students don't have to.

8. Grad students: Whiskey

Older and wiser–much like the maturity of whiskey–they've been through enough college and just want to be ahead of their competition in the real world. Sometimes, the pressures of extra schooling lead them to harder liquor. Who can blame them? They're killing the game and will have a higher-paying job right out of school than we undergrads will. Just know that grad students, no matter their school, are going through a lot and whiskey tends to be the answer.

While not everyone follows their stereotypes, each alcohol fits them perfectly. No one can prove me wrong. No matter how bad these cliques seem, you always end up in one. You might not realize it right away, but you will soon. I just hope it isn't during a drunk revelation because then that turns to alcoholism.

Good luck figuring yourself out!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less
Disney

I've always been a huge Disney villain fan — whether it was for their cryptic one-liners, enviable outfits, or sidekick banter. Some of the most iconic lines from cinematic history have been said by the characters we love to hate and occasionally dress up as once a year.

The fear-mongering Gaston I now find hilariously cringe-worthy is now charming and oftentimes considered by fans as rightfully justified in his actions. Die-hard fans of the Disney villain fan club claim alternate egos in their favorite evil characters, adopting their hilarious witticisms into everyday life.

Keep Reading... Show less

Social media is something many of us have been addicted to (whether we want to believe it or not) since the moment we got it. I remember getting Facebook at 10. Instantly I was hooked. I loved being able to share my life with people, a little too much in my opinion, and I loved being able to see how/what other people were doing all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have definitely had my fair share of breakups. I broke up with my high school sweetheart my second semester of college (he was cheating on me), I had a breakup with another guy I thought I was going to marry, and others in between. Regardless of whether you're the one doing the dumping or being dumped, breakups can HURT.

Keep Reading... Show less

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less

Reading is a relaxing activity that provides many benefits. Everybody reads books (when they are not watching Netflix, chatting on social media, or making Tik Tok videos) to distract themselves from reality for a while. Many do not realize the positive impact that books have like reducing stress, assisting with sleep, improving cognitively, and strengthening the mind. In honor of National Book Day, there are many great novels that you can read to mark this special holiday. Here are the best ones to check out.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Watch 'Arrested Development' On Netflix

"Her?" Yes, she's an amazing show! (You'll get this joke after you watch the show).

Netflix

"Arrested Development" is an award-winning sitcom that aired for three seasons on Fox beginning in 2003, and then was picked up by Netflix for a fourth season in 2013, and then again for a final season in 2018.

However, it seems to remain one of the world's most underrated and under-appreciated shows of all time. Although this article alone won't be enough to skyrocket the show to Netflix's top 10, I hope that it will open people's eyes to the value and quality of the show.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments