Entering a classroom on the first day of school and not knowing where to sit is the number one challenge that students in America's public school system face. Don't get me wrong, lack of funding, inadequate course material, and a corrupt grading system are all hallmarks of a failing machine, but the real problem that we can fix most directly and most promptly is classroom seating.
To get started, let's separate the classroom by chairs before dealing with the people. Unless you're a chatterbox student, columns shouldn't matter much to you (they're only important to Cross-Talkers). What you should be focusing on are the rows.
Never sit in the front. Not only do you miss everything going on behind you, but you also can't work on assignments not related to the class that you're currently in. It exposes your entire desk and being to your teacher. Who would want that? (I'll give you a clue: not anybody interested in having a social life during high school.)
Moving a few rows behind the NerdZone, you arrive at the safe zone. By aiming for the center, you guarantee yourself a bit of everything: a social life, a good view of the front, and somebody's back to hide your phone behind. Make sure you arrive early to claim a seat here, it's basically prime real estate for anybody looking to be a smartie and a social butterfly.
Some less valuable, but still okay properties to consider are the sides. While these seats do allow for a bit of privacy, the neighbor that sits to your right or left, depending on which extreme you've chosen, better be an okay person. After all, they're your only neighbor. Treat them nice, and they'll let you borrow paper and pencils from them. It'll be a nice positive to counter your distance from the social action that's happening in the center.
Before we move on to people you may encounter, I should probably touch on the back rows. We all know that sitting in the back of the bus was "cool" in elementary and middle school. But think of sitting in the back of a classroom as sitting in the back of the bus as a senior. Unless you're that creep who likes surveying the entire room as you occasionally peek out from behind your Chromebook, avoid the back at all costs.
Now that we've covered classroom seating, it's time to move on to the actual neighbors you'll probably spot as you move in the new area. I hope you were paying attention earlier, as I will be referencing the zones these types of neighbors are most prevalent in.
Imagine walking into a math class on the first day of school. Unfortunately, you've timed your entrance slightly early. Now you can't walk out, as the people already seated will think that you've walked into the wrong classroom. Darn, that social pressure is already getting to you. It's okay. You have a couple of seconds to look around at prospective properties before things really start getting weird.
The most populous zone, of course, is the NerdZone. These kids probably sprinted with open backpacks from their last class so that they could grab what they thought was "Prime Real Estate." Lucky for you, you know better. Not only do you know to never sit in the NerdZone, but you already don't associate yourself with people who sprint around school with their backpacks wide open.
Remembering my earlier advice, you probably thought to move towards the center of the room, but maybe a column closer to the door. Sorry, seat's taken. In fact, a whole pod of friends have taken up most of the center property. You know them. They come in together and they sit together. They probably waited outside for a familiar face to join them before coming in to claim property. Oh well, everybody secretly cares. You're just brave enough to come in alone.
But you're not brave enough to sit next to that kid in the back. (was he there when you entered the room?) He's wearing all black and already has his Chromebook out. (how did he get that? It's the first day of school.)
Yeah….that's a no. Not only will he never talk to you, but just the overall 'creep factor' is too much for you to handle.
Quick, you've got to hurry and make your decision. You only have a few seconds left before people start realizing that you care about where you sit. And we can't have that realization. Cool points docked.
You spot somebody sitting on the far right side of the room. Perfect. They've taken up the isolating spot, so all you need to do is sit next to them. Sure, by doing that you're consenting to occasionally talking to this person. But that's the duty of a friendly neighbor of the second column. I know I said earlier that columns don't matter that much, but this is important. When you become somebody's only neighbor, it's your job as a second column member to make them feel included.
Depending on what type of person you are, you might be more fulfilled if you choose to occupy a second column. You're not associated with a specific clan of classroom property-tenant, but you're able to enjoy all the areas and all the people. Except, of cour—but you already know.
