Before I left for school, I sat out on my porch on a warm summer evening with my dad, and he shared with me one of the bits of wisdom that he wanted me to remember, really remember, before I went to college.

“Church is different in college than at any other time of life,” he said. I believed him. I knew it wouldn’t be the same as my current situation, and in a lot of ways I was excited about that. I had grown weary of some aspects of my church. I knew that plenty of college students did not go to church at all, but my commitment to my faith was such as I knew that continuing the practice would not be soon lost on me. While sitting on my porch, I told myself I was ready to find a new church, but I underestimated how easy plugging in would be.

I had expectations of what I thought church in college would look like, which were unsurprisingly like what I experienced in high school. My roommate and I and all our friends would attend church together on Sunday, be involved in a small group bible study on a weekday, and after I got settled into that I would volunteer somewhere in the church. All of this would happen at one church. One building, just like home. There would be a perfect overlap of friends in my classes, dorm, and church who I could do everything with. This however, did not seamlessly come together as I had cleverly planned, and that hurt.

It hurt for a lot of reasons. I was lonely and craving community. My expectations could never be met because I had no realistic way of knowing what it would be like to be living on my own in a different city.

I was trying to pick one, and in college, you don’t have to pick one. I had to trust God. It was less about me choosing a church and more about finding a place in the kingdom of God. Although I had my expectations, I was open to trying new things, and I am thankful for that. It was time for me to test the things I had grown up with. I visited different churches and observed the way they did things and determined what I believed a church should be and what it shouldn’t. I struggled with wanting to feel comfortable, but not too comfortable so as to be stagnant in my faith.

The second week of school, my roommate and I were invited to a lifegroup that met across the street. Though the room was crowded with dozens of lonely freshman, the upper classman took notice of me and actually asked how I was doing, and kept up with me. So I kept going back.

Also early on in the semester, I was walking up the stairs to my dorm when I ran into a friends coming the other direction, who said, “hey wanna come to a Bible study in the lobby?” I enjoyed the all-girls atmosphere and saw some familiar faces from the hallways and classroom. However, I wandered away for a while because I thought I should attend a church service on that night instead of a dorm Bible study. However, that was where I felt true community, so within a few weeks I ended back there.

As for Sundays, I visited several places. I thought I should go to the church that aligned with the lifegroup. But, there was a different church where I felt at home, partly because I knew plenty of people there, partly because it was similar to home, and partly because my older brother also liked that congregation. I realized that going to church with my brother and building community with him was just as holy as going to the church of the lifegroup. I realized that it was okay to go to a lifegroup here and a Bible study there and church at another place. I realized that spending time with people who I did life with was really important, and I didn’t have to fit into the mold of the world or my expectations or anything other than God’s plan.

So that’s how I ended up studying God’s word in different locations, and feeling more grounded than ever. I realized that the church is not just a building, or a Sunday, it is the people. It’s not just a place to feel comfortable, it’s a place to feel comfortable enough to be able to push deeper. It is the community of believers who agree that to meet together on a consistent basis to learn about God is an important way to live life. And that’s the way I want to live.