'Chronicles of an Afrogeek' is a series of sideline stories about young black men, their environment, and their search for purpose.

My name is Brandon, I'm 18 years young and I am currently a senior in high school. I live a miserable life, to say the least. I've lost touch with myself, the world, and, most importantly, my bro.

It all started in 9th grade, 4 years ago. Ahmed, who I consider my best friend, my brother, myself and other buds: Chris, Patrick, Évra, Marc, and Irwin, were basically a crew. Some of us had met in middle school, while others were only beginning to speak in high school. We'd do everything together: homework, play soccer, cheat, go to the local game room, and even annoy teachers. We are almost inseparable. But not quite.

Given the way we were brought up, Ahmed and I were not "chill" or "dope" like the others. They took our antics one step further in that, they included other classmates and were very engaging outside of our circle. Ahmed and I, on the other hand, were more reserved. We rarely talked to anyone one who was not part of our band. When we went out, which was also rare, we did not go with the "popular" crowd. Though I was comfortable in my own skin, I was somewhat fascinated with my assertive friends, their ability to approach girls, and their style of expression. I thought that was very brave and aspired to do the same. With that, I chose to become someone I'm not, to jump on the bandwagon and try to convince others, as well as myself, that I can be that way too. I tagged along with the crew, but nonetheless, I never fit in.

They knew how to hit on girls, how to have fun, and dress "swag," things I tried to do, but in vain because we did not possess the same means. Ahmed, on the other hand, remained the same guy all throughout the years, with the same values and mindset, a humble guy.

Today, we're seniors, and things have very much changed. Ahmed is now part of "the cliques" in school, more mature, more stylish, and quite the confident guy. Girls love him, and he's friends with the popular crowd. By remaining himself, he was able to let his character shine through. Today, he is blessed in everything he does and lives a life way better than mine: his own.

As for me, I wasted my time trying to be someone I'm not, and, quite frankly, someone I could never be. All this, for nothing. My social life is dull and lifeless. Patience is a virtue, I guess. Maybe one day, if I'm lucky, losers will finish first.