“Treat others as you would like to be treated.”

From the first day we step into elementary school, this basic precept is beaten into our heads, this notion that we should treat others not as they treat us, but, rather, as we would prefer them to treat us. The Golden Rule is a rule which calls us to “be the bigger person” even when others treat us unfairly.

The Golden Rule is not a new concept—it’s at least 2,000 years old. Jesus Christ lays the foundation for it in Matthew 22:36-40. In attempt to catch him off-guard, the Pharisees ask Jesus which of the commandments is the “greatest.” Jesus’ response not only completely undermines the Pharisees’ attempt to fool him, but also becomes the guiding principle of all Christian behavior.

To be exact, in Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus commands us to love God “with all [our] heart, and with all [our] soul, and with all [our] mind” and to “love [our] neighbor as [ourselves].” (Other translations may have slightly different wording, but the gist is the same.)

Many Christians—myself included—tend to skip over this verse because it presents a challenge. We go to church every Sunday, or we pray every night, or we offer money to our churches, and we aren’t outwardly “bad” people, and in some small way we buy into the lie that we’re good enough just by checking off that list. And doing all of those things is not wrong—in fact, we should be going to church and praying and offering money (if it is financially feasible) and acting as an example toward our neighbors. But checking off that list is a little different than loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind. If we truly loved God will all our heart, soul, and mind, He would be a part of every aspect of our lives—part of work, school, family, our daily thoughts, our every action, our trips to the supermarket, our interactions with our coworkers and random strangers. If we truly loved God to that extent, our “Jesus time” wouldn’t only be on Sunday for an hour or two. It would be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and all-day Sunday as well, for good measure.

None of us have that depth of love for our Creator. If we did, we would be perfect. Someone who truly loves God with all his heart, soul, and mind would never sin because of the rift that sin strikes in our relationship with the Father. We wouldn’t sin because our love for our Father would be beyond our love for ourselves or our love for earthly pleasures. Simply stated, none of us have reached that point or will ever reach that point, which is why Jesus died for us—to give us grace and salvation despite our shortcomings.

It's also easy to skip past the second part of the verse, about loving our neighbor. We hear it all the time, that we should be selfless and kind, putting others before ourselves, and we know in theory that the benefit of God and fellow man should be the guiding factor of our choices; however, we oftentimes do not stop to ask why we should treat our fellow man with the same love we should show ourselves, and in doing so, make it that much harder on ourselves to follow the principle.

In God’s eyes, we are all equal. No one human is better than another; there is not some divine scaling instrument that determines each individual human’s worth. No, we are all equal, and in this verse, God commands us to acknowledge that equality, to realize that loving our neighbors as ourselves is a reflection of his equal love for all. However, beyond the fact that none of us carry out this command perfectly just like none of us love God perfectly, we also like to skip over the part about "ourselves."

God calls us to love others as we love ourselves, which means, in turn, that we must love ourselves in order to love others. Insecurities, other people's unkindness, and diseases like depression attack our self-love. We look in the mirror and see ugliness. We look at our grades and see stupidity. We look at our lives and see wasted potential. We focus on our failures and define ourselves by our shortcomings; we begin to nourish a natural sense of self-doubt with our worrying and stress until it develops into full-fledged self-hatred or self-disgust. We buy into the lie that self-hatred or self-disgust is the key to humility and selflessness—when, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. True humility and selflessness stem from a healthy self-love, from a self-confidence rooted in God that is so strong that it does not require earthly validation to be upheld. Just as arrogance is a reflection of self-centeredness, so, then, is self-hatred: Both are rooted in the individual's obsession over himself, whether that obsession be excessively positive or excessively negative. Which is not to say that people who struggle with insecurities, with other people's mean comments, with depression and similar diseases, are necessarily to blame. Some form of self-centeredness is at the root of almost all character flaws; it is in human nature, in our biological makeup, to be self-centered. But just as we are called to overcome our innate fear of the unknown to pursue Jesus' plans for us, so we are also called to overcome our innate tendency toward self-hatred or arrogance in order to let go of ourselves and to love God and our neighbors fully.

The basis of all Christianity is love—the love that God bestows on us, the love that we return to God, the love that we extend to our neighbors and ourselves. We are called to love, regardless of the circumstance, as is clearly stated in Matthew 22:36-40. Our love should be so strong that people recognize us because of it, that people associate "Christian" with love. Looking at the majority of Christians today, you would be hard-pressed to see that love in action. Many of us have bought into these lies, these lies about loving God and loving our neighbors and loving ourselves. It's easier to pretend that that weird homeless guy on the corner isn't your neighbor, or the spiteful boss that loves tearing apart your work, or the annoying friend you just want to scream at. It's easier to pretend we can sort of love God for an hour every Sunday. It's easier to pretend that by hating yourself you are being humble or selfless toward your neighbors.

But it isn't the truth. God's love doesn't only extend to the rich and famous, or the friendly coworkers, or the mature friends. It isn't just for Sunday mornings, or other people. God's love extends to every single person because in His eyes, there is no difference in value between you and the homeless guy, you and the mean boss, you and the immature friend, one way or another. All are called to love and to be loved by Him. We are imperfect, and we can only love imperfectly, but Matthew 22:36-40 is clear. We aren't allowed to use our imperfection as an excuse to not try. We are required to love and, when we fail in that duty, to stand up and keep on loving again.

It's like they told us in elementary school. "Treat others as you would like to be treated." It's about time our actions started aligning with our words. Stop holding back, let go of your barriers, and love.