Hi, I'm Megan.
And this is my boyfriend, Patrick.
We met on Tinder.
Now that's not really uncommon for couples to meet on dating apps these days, but what makes it even crazier is that we are both strong Christians. People don't really expect for meaningful relationships to come out of the usage of any dating app, especially Tinder. So I'm going to share my experiences on several dating apps, and what worked well for me. Now there's no guarantee that you will find the love of your life on these apps, but I often think that Christians can be judged harshly for using dating apps for various reasons, especially girls. I want to debunk rumors, concerns, and myths about them. So here I am, ready to answer the questions I get asked most and to share my story of finding love online.
I used Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, and Crosspaths at various points in the past two years. A brief overview of each:
1. Tinder: you connect to Facebook, make a profile, and make some choices about who you want to meet (gender, age range, etc). Then you simply swipe left for "pass", swipe right for "like", or swipe up for "super like." If you like someone and they liked you back, you match. You then can message each other on the platform. Tinder I liked and used the most out of all of them because it was easy to use, easy to customize, and easy to let everyone know exactly what I was looking for.
2. Bumble: Very similar to Tinder except when it comes to messaging, the girl has to make the first move. You have 24 hours to send a message or the match disappears. I loved this feature because I usually was the one who messaged first.
3. Coffee Meets Bagel: this one is more complicated, so bear with me. It's way more selective in picking your "bagels," what they call matches. This one also has the 24-hour messaging rule, but it's for both the girl and the guy. You get delivered one bagel per day at noon, so it's not like Tinder and Bumble where you basically have endless swiping. I got bored with this one quickly, as I liked the endless swiping feature.
4. OkCupid: this one is way longer handed. Meaning that you answer quite a few questions to begin building your profile, then you can answer more for a higher match rate. OkCupid suggests matches based on your compatibility rating. It's harder to navigate, and I didn't stay on the platform very long.
5. Crosspaths: basically Christian Tinder. The only difference is that you select your level of faith that you most identify with. They have 5 different levels of faith you can select. The problem with this one is the selection is few and far between. There aren't that many people using this app. I found that it would have been really great if there was the volume of people on this app as there are on Tinder.
Often I get asked the question, "How do you avoid the dudes that just want hookups?" and my answer is simple, though the issue can be complex. On Tinder, I wrote out my bio to spell out exactly what I want. I made it clear that I was looking for a relationship, not hookups. And I made my love for Jesus loud and clear. Occasionally, a few weirdos still made it into my messages, but that is why they created the unmatch & block buttons for. Don't worry about being "nice". Worry about what you need from this. It's a great thing to be able to minister spiritually and talk about what God has done in your life through apps meant for hookups. I've done it, I did it with my current boyfriend. But if the dude just wants to stir up trouble, don't get invested. Unmatch, block, whatever you need to do.
Shame is very prevalent in the Christian culture in regards to dating apps. Do they mean you're "not waiting on God" or "wrongly pursuing" guys when traditionally guys pursue girls? Does it mean you have to compromise on what you believe?
Honestly, I can't stress this enough. Those are lies put there by society to make you feel guilty about something you shouldn't. Now, do some people have convictions about not using them? Yeah! And if that's you, you go Glen Coco! Do what you feel is right for you!
Here's the main point: there is NO shame in using or not using dating apps. They are a great thing that yes, can be misused, but if I can find love on them, anyone can.
Patrick and I matched and realized we had five mutual friends that were completely unrelated. We probably were on the same worship team and didn't know it. We even go to the same university! But we never would have met if I hadn't trusted God when He said, "Yeah, I want you to go back onto Tinder." Patrick is my other half. We sing and dance in the car. He goes to the zoo with me even when it's summer in Arizona. He puts all his tips from work into a Darth Vader piggy bank for what we call "fancy date." But to me, going to the post office and Dutch Bros with him is a fancy date. He puts my cares before his own. He is the love of my life. So, thanks Jesus (and Tinder) for helping me find the best person in my life.