My name is Darla Smith, I'm twenty-one years old, and I'm a Christian Ministry's major and I have to be perfect. This week I am doing great! I love my homework, I am SO excited to read fifty pages before nine am! In addition to school, sports, clubs, and work, I totally spent six hours in the Word today. I only ever listen to worship music, and I never cuss. I never struggle with relationships, and I love Jesus and everybody at school!
As a christian ministries major, people often put me and other people in my major on a pedestal. We are supposed to be going into ministry. We are supposed to be learning how to tell others about Christ. However, that is not always what happens. We may be Christian ministry majors, but we are also human, We are made of flesh, blood, and bone. We are carnal, finite, and fallen. We are not perfect. We may be the future pastors, missionaries, and worship leaders of our generation, but we are also broken. I can not name a single professor, pastor, or pathfinder that does not struggle with their faith or their flesh at some point in their life.
In Genesis Chapter Three, the first man, Adam, and his wife, Eve, were tempted in the garden to eat fruit that was forbidden. How hard it must have been for them, to resist the temptation to eat a fruit that would give them all knowledge. They failed. As a result, they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, they were punished.
Further on in Genesis, we see the story of Abraham and Sarah. They desperately wanted children, but they had none. God promised them, if they were faithful and waited, that they would have the heir they so desired, but they didn't. Instead, they choose to take matters into their own hands, and Sarah's servant became pregnant. She had a son, Ishmael, and because of this small disobedience, the world today is still thrown into turmoil.
King David was called a man after God's own heart. He slayed giants in the name of the LORD, but he couldn't slay the giant of lust that was eating away at his soul. He committed adultery, and murder. He slept with a woman he was not married to, and impregnated her. Because of his sin, an innocent baby died as punishment.
How many times did the Israelites stray from the LORD? Multiple times, they turned their backs on the one true God. Instead of worshiping the mighty savior, who plucked them from the hands of their enemies multiple times, they turned instead to false gods. They strayed from the teaching of Yahweh, and believed false prophets, and liars. They intermarried with gentiles, and began pagan practices.
Saul was a mass murderer. He wanted the Christians persecuted. He wanted them killed. He sought after them, with vengeance blazing in his eyes, and took innocent lives.
Adam and Eve, though punished for their sin, were restored with the birth of Seth. Abraham and Sarah, though they suffered greatly, were eventually given the child they had awaited so long. King David was still the sire of the line of Christ, despite all his shortcomings. The Iseralites are still God's chosen people. They are still a nation set apart. Saul became Paul, author of half of the New Testament.
My professors are the strongest, most Godly men I know. To me, they are the equivalents of Old Testament prophets. They are the Paul's, the Luke's, and the John's of my campus. They are the Elijah, and the Elisha's of the modern day college. However, they aren't perfect. The people I think so highly of have been through the ringer. If you get to know them, you will hear stories of substance abuse, lust, and hurt. However, each of them have been restored by grace and grace alone to be such wonderful examples as they are today.
Everyone is at a different place in their walk with Christ. You never know what place someone is at. If one falls down, another must be their to pick him up. Jesus never sent the disciples out by themselves, but always in two's and three's. Don't put Christian Ministry majors on a pedestal. We aren't perfect. We all have our struggles. Some of us are working on overcoming deep set wounds, from churches. Some of us are recovering from bad relationships. Some of us are struggling with viewing God as a loving father, because of how our fathers treated us. Some of us are still fighting, every time they log on to their computers to type a paper, not to look up the images burned into our brains that stole our innocence. Some of us try every day not to go back to hold habits to escape pain or stress. Some of us are still fighting lust, alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, self harm, or negative self image. We are not perfect by any means. We want to do ministry because we know God is powerful and is bringing us through all of these things, but sometimes, we just aren't there yet. We are still in school! We are still learning! We haven't stepped into the roles we will one day fill. Right now, there is still time for us to learn from our mistakes. Please, don't tear us down, or ridicule us when we mess up. We are trying, from a genuine place of love for Christ and others, to be the people you will need us to be when we graduate, and step into those ministerial positions. Right now, have some grace for us. All we can do is love the Lord, and keep trying.
My name is Darla Smith. I am twenty-one years old. I am a Christian Ministries major, and I am not perfect. This week has been okay, but not great. My homework is really stressing me out, and I am not sure how I am going to get all fifty pages of this reading done, and done thoughtfully and thoroughly. I barely spent six minutes having quiet time today, because I was so exhausted after practice, I couldn't keep my eyes open. Today I played worship music in the car, but yesterday I listened to Closer at least twelve times. Sometimes I say words I wish more than anything that I didn't know. I don't always get along with my classmates, and last night I cried myself to sleep again because I miss the guy I always used to talk to. I love Jesus, and I choose everyday to continue to fall in love with Him, but sometimes, that choice is hard.
My name is Darla Smith. I am twenty-one years old. I am a Christian Ministries major, and I am not perfect, and I never will be on this earth. But I know my savior, and I am trying to be like Him as best I can. Sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I do things I wish I could take back. I am forgiven. I am loved. I am restored. Other peoples opinions do not matter. Other peoples opinions do not affect me. What matters is knowing who I am in Christ. I am not perfect, and I don't have to apologize for that. The only perfect person was Jesus. He was tempted and withstood that temptation, and created the means for me to be restored.
My name is Darla Smith. I am twenty-one years old. I am a Christian Ministries major, and I am loved by the King. I am a child of the risen Lord. Restoration is possible. I am a broken, shattered, dirty, earthen vessel, who has been made whole, pure, and holy by God's grace.
