Those who know me, know that I grew up in a very conservative Christian household.

When I was 5 years old, my parents accepted Christ as their Savior, and a lot of things began to change in our little home. I was pulled out from the private school that I used to attend, and was enrolled in our church’s small school, going to the movies, watching most TV programs, and listening to certain types of music was no longer allowed. Since I was very young most of these changes didn’t really affect me, and I adapted quickly to our new lifestyle, however, as I grew older, I started to realize that my upbringing was very different from the way other teens my age were raised.

Even as I started growing up, I was not allowed to go out by myself, I had very restricted access to my cellphone, music and movies were still closely monitored, going to parties or dances was completely out of the question, and attendance to Bible Study, and other church events was never optional. I started to really resent this. I saw other teenagers who were in the same after school classes as me, or who had once been members of my church, having the time of their lives. They went out whenever they wanted, they were allowed to have boyfriends, they went to school dances, and attended lots of parties at their friend’s houses. When I saw them, I saw everything I wanted to be, and I began filling my heart with resentment towards my parents, my church, and even God.

I carried that resentment in my heart for a long time. And, as a result of that resentment most of my mid teenage years were filled with anger and bitterness. I couldn’t enjoy the many blessings that God gave me, and the wonderful times that I was able to share with my family and friends, because I was too busy envying what others were doing, and the “freedom” that they had. I longed to have that same “freedom” that most young people my age had, in my mind it simply wasn’t fair that i didn’t have a choice in the way that my teen years were spent. And, if I am being honest, I waited eagerly for the day that I could leave my house, and live the way that I wanted to live. FREE

Even after I graduated high school, and my parents gave me a lot more freedom, I still wanted more. I was determined to go to a college that would allow me to party it up for 4 years straight, where there would be no rules, where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I wanted nothing to do with God, or the church, because in my mind, God was simply someone who gave me a long list of don’ts, and the church was simply an institution that enforced those don’ts.

I have absolutely no idea how I ended up in Liberty University. Going to a Christian University was the very last thing that I wanted. However, God made getting into Liberty very easy, and after visiting it, getting to know the students there, and touring the campus I decided that I actually really liked Liberty University. So, in the fall of 2016 I left my beautiful home in Costa Rica, and started my freshman year at LU. I still had some doubts, but as the days and weeks flew by I started to love the atmosphere at Liberty, especially during my second semester. At Liberty I truly started my relationship with God. I was already saved, I knew as much, but I had never actually bothered to establish a personal relationship with Him. At Liberty, however, I was surrounded by Godly people, and a Godly atmosphere, but God was never shoved down my throat. For the first time in my life I had the freedom of choosing whether or not I attended the prayer groups, or church on Sundays, of choosing the people I wanted to be friends with, and of choosing how I wanted to spend my free time. I was encouraged to follow God, but never once did I feel judged when I slipped up, and didn’t.

With time, I started reading the Bible and praying willingly. I started to enjoy worship music once again. I stopped viewing God as a dictator, and started seeing Him as a loving Father. At Liberty, I found the freedom that I had craved, but God was also good enough to send me to a University that had certain rules and standards so that I would not destroy my life, and my future. He sent me friends that allowed me to be myself, but who also drew me closer to Him, and for that I am infinitely thankful.

I’m not going to lie though, every now and then when I saw snaps or pictures of some of my friends, or people I knew, who were partying at 3:00 am, or drinking bottle after bottle of alcohol I wondered if I was missing out. After all, society tells us that the college stage should be the party stage. Was I missing out on yet another “stage” of life? I had already missed out on having a prom, or a high school graduation party, was I missing out on the best part of college?

And finally, during a Bible study held at my house just a couple of weeks ago, while on Summer break, I got my answer to all of those questions that I had asked myself ever since I was a young teenager. That day, we talked briefly about Psalm 73, a Psalm in which David asks God why the wicked prosper, and why he, who had strived to remain pure and faithful, suffered so many afflictions. I confess I wasn’t really paying attention that day, since I was not feeling well, however when my dad read verses 12–14 I felt as though David had known exactly what I had been thinking all of those years. The verses read: “This is what the wicked are like — always free of care, they go on amassing wealth. Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence…” . During most of that Psalm David is referring to material wealth, however, I interpreted "wealth" simply as something that others had that I wanted, in this case apparent “freedom”. I was relieved to realize that I was not the only believer to question why it is that those who refuse to follow God sometimes seem happier in their daily lives, than those who choose to follow His path.

My dad then moved on to verse 16, which read: “When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.” In this verse all of the things that I had questioned over the years were answered. I finally realised after years that no matter how much “fun” people seem to be having, and no matter how much I “missed out” on, all that “freedom” that they have is no good if at the end of the day their souls are lost. I may not have had a prom, I may not spend my nights partying, and doing whatever I want. But, I have a friends who love me and care about me, I have a family that will always be there for me, and most importantly, I have a relationship with my Savior, and a guarantee that I will go to Heaven when I die. And I would not trade that for anything in the world. Not even for being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, because in the end that is not freedom, it is the destruction of the soul.

Now, when I see those snapchat stories or Instagram pictures I pray for my friends or acquaintances who don’t know Christ. I no longer feel like I am missing out, or like I am “wasting” the best years of my life. Now, I am filled with gratefulness at the knowledge that I have found the freedom that Christ wants to gives us. The freedom that allows us to truly enjoy our lives and have fun, without being slaves to sin. The freedom that we find when we decide to follow the Lord, not because it is what we are told to do, but because we genuinely love Him, and want a relationship with Him.

The freedom that truly makes our hearts happy, and our lives whole.