As I have grown up in a Christian family and have attended church on Sundays all of my life, I’ve spent some substantial time involved in church activities, various youth programs and in lots of different services. As a military child, I have had the opportunity to go to many different churches around the country as well. As a college student, I have grown in my walk with Christ enough to know what I seek in a church, and what my job here on Earth as a Christian is.
While I am out on my own and looking for a church to call my home away from home, I’m thinking about the different things that I’ve loved in different churches, so that I can look for that somewhere else. Because of this, I’m also realizing just how much churches need substantial growth in certain areas. I’ve discussed this very topic with many people, and for the most part, we’ve all been on the same page.
Something that I’ve found in the Christian church, whatever section or denomination they may be, is that there is a serious need and desire to really deal with things that come with this fallen world we are called to live in. Mainly what comes to mind when I think of these things are grief, how we as a church deal with that and what loving like Christ REALLY means.
When I was 16, my father passed away suddenly, and unexpectedly. After this happened, my church family rallied around my family and took care of us in ways that I can’t even put into words. Their support meant everything to me and my family in our time of pain and loss, and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have made it through without God’s hand reaching out through my church.
It’s been two and a half years since then, and I am more involved in my church (when I am home) than I ever thought I would be. I still continue to feel loved and supported by my church family, and I know that this is how God intended for things to be.
However, after about a month or two after my dad’s passing, I stopped hearing about loss. People slowly went back to their lives, and I learned how to live mine without my dad. Whenever I bring up my dad in conversation, people get uncomfortable. They feel sad for me, or they don’t seem to understand that this loss is something that I will never be fully healed from.
While there’s nothing wrong with that, I’d also love to be able to talk about my dad. I’d love to be able to share him with people. He left a strong legacy, one that lives with me in my heart every day. I’d also sometimes love to be able to just be broken about losing him, nearing three years later.
It’s never going to be easy. Grief lasts a lifetime, so why do we only talk about it and how to deal with it at times of loss, or when ALL hearts are heavy? We are all grieving for something or someone. I think it’s important that we are open to that, and discussing it as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Another thing that I think that we as a Christian church need to really look at is how to love like Christ loved. Christ’s love does not mean tolerance. Christ’s love does not mean judgement. However, we ARE called to be tolerant and judgmental in different situations.
1 Corinthians 5: 9-13 talks specifically about this. In this particular passage, Paul was addressing the church in Corinth, and the sin and corruption that was occurring with different members of the church. Paul says: “But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”
We are commanded not to associate ourselves with those believers who openly sin against God. We are to turn them away, so that they may come to God on their own, and God will deal with their sins.
This is, however, not done out of hate, or disgust, or out of fear. This is done with love for the sinner. Love and concern, that they might find their path again, and be made new. This is done because only God has the power to make a greedy heart satisfied, and a wicked heart a healed one.
In the next verses, Paul follows up this idea by saying: “For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’”
Paul clarifies that our judgement is only to extend to those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ. He specifically makes the distinction that we are NOT to judge those who do not believe, because they are bound by different laws. They are not held by the Holy Spirit as we are. They live in sin because they do not know anything else.
Surely we should not be afraid, then, to invite them into our churches and into our homes so that they may see the light of God, no matter how “bad” we think that their sin is. Any sin, no matter how “big” or “small,” is enough to separate us from God. That’s why He gave us His son. We are not called to judge the lost, we are called to love them and live among them as Christ did when He was here on this earth. This is where the idea of tolerance is supposed to come into play.
Too many times I’ve talked to people who are not believers who had expressed curiosity in what a relationship with Christ really looks like, but they were too afraid to attend church because they felt like they were not good enough. They felt like they didn’t fit in in a place like that, and that they would be judged because of this. We as a church need to change this image and this idea that so many people have, of church being a place filled with hostility and judgement.
If we love the way that Christ intended, if we open our arms to anyone who is curious without hesitation, and if we are intentional about fighting that stereotype, we let God take over. When we let God take over, He will win every time.
Let’s grow as individuals, and let’s grow as a church in Christ’s name.
