When I chose education as my major I never questioned teaching was what I wanted to do. I don't have enough fingers and toes put together to count the amount of times I have been criticized for choosing education. "You won't make any money." "Oh why would you want to do that?" "Did you choose it for the summers off?" "You're going to burn out." "Are you sure you want to work with kids?" I mean the list could go on. The truth is education isn't a perfect profession, I know that. I think all teachers and future teachers can agree that they know that. But they also would agree with me when I say education is the best profession, the most awarding profession, the most needed profession...Sure, there are days when I am so overwhelmed I think that I can’t do it, everyone has doubt. But never have I once stopped wanting to teach.
See, I chose to teach not for myself. If it was for myself, those days where everything went wrong would have stopped me my first semester of college. I chose to teach for the hope that I could change one life. Yes, just one. If I could make a difference in one student’s life then my job would be done. If I could see one student succeed, one student graduate, one student grow into an amazing human being then I had achieved my greatest goal.
On February 14, 2018, Valentine’s Day, I went to class to absorb the knowledge that I will one day give to my future students. I sat at a desk, I took notes, I chatted with friends...it was a normal day for me. I ended up going home sick, took a nap, and woke up to turn on the news that 17 precious lives had been ended in a high school. In a school. The news segments continued all night—videos from the shooting, students in tears being interviewed, parents screaming for their children’s lives. Two weeks later and I am still sick to my stomach. Sick to my stomach that even after Columbine and Sandy Hook that children aren’t safe. That teachers aren’t safe. That parents can’t send their kids to school knowing they will be protected. That our government has not done a single thing to stop it.
My mom pulled me aside a few days after the shooting asking me a question that had never once crossed my mind, “Do you still want to teach?” The question was tender hearted, she didn’t want me to stop teaching. She just wanted me to be sure that this is what I want to do—she was scared for me.
I paused and asked myself “Do I still want to teach?”
The answer is yes. I chose to teach the day I claimed my major. From that moment on there has been no going back for me, because I’m not doing it for myself. I’m doing it for my students. My students? The students that I will one day have. The students that will be there on my first day of teaching. The students that will be there on my last day of teaching. The students that will fill more than just a seat in my classroom.
I choose to teach. Today, tomorrow, and always.
It’s a weird feeling. Having so much love for people that you have never met. Because it’s true, I care for them so much. It’s because of that love that I can be so sure this is what I want to do. It’s because of that love that when I see children being gunned down and our government won’t do a thing about it that I am infuriated. I am heartbroken. I am angry. You are messing with my students. You are messing with their future. You are messing with my ability to teach them. My future students should not have to live in fear. My future students should be able to go to school, to graduate, to live their dreams.
And I should be able to live mine without a question.
For me, this isn’t about politics. It’s about love. It’s about loving the children of America enough to do something about it. The amazing students in desks across our beautiful country are the future. If you don’t believe me, then turn on the news and watch the brave boys and girls speaking up for their lost friends. They using their grief to start a conversation, a conversation spreading like wildfire across high schools in America. The students of Marjory Stoneman Douglass give me hope. They give me bravery. They give me the courage to teach.
It’s with that hope, bravery, and courage that I want more for our country. I want better for our students, for my students. So that one day they will always feel safe in my classroom and that I will never again be asked “Do you still want to teach?”
