{happiness} ~ the state of being happy.

Are you happy? Or are you who I was once before? Have you convinced yourself that you're happy even when deep down you know you're not? Let me guess, you've convinced yourself that this is the best you'll ever get so you might as well go ahead and settle on this and call it being happy. You're wrong. Happiness comes with no boundaries. No limits.

See, I was that girl too. I was the one who chose to settle on what I had because that's all I knew, and honestly, believed that was all I deserved. I was that girl who had to be independent. I didn't have much help or a figure to lead me in the right direction. I was that girl who was broken. I was that's girl who was a very vulnerable. Now i'm that girl telling you happiness starts and ends with YOU.

I get it. You've been down the same road over and over again. Hurt over and over again. You cry in your car on the way to school because that stupid song came on. You cry in the shower. You cry on your pillow. At this point you've cried everywhere. You just want to be happy so you do what most people do .. you settle. You settle on just about anything that will just make you feel somewhat loved and important.

Then before you know it you're months or even years into something not realizing you're killing yourself. You were too vulnerable so you allowed someone in not seeing who they really were. You were blind to the toxicity of this person because occasionally they made you feel loved and that was all you ever wanted. You ignored the abuse. The verbal abuse. The emotional abuse. The mental abuse. You ignored the anxiety. You ignored the depression because you didn't want to lose this “love" even if it was only partial love. It was something compared to nothing and nothing was all you ever knew. You'd get tired and try to leave but one “i'm sorry" and you were right back. Vulnerability gets us every time. I get it.

I was that girl. I settled. I didn't grow up in a happy home. I wasn't shown true love but that's all I ever dreamt of so I settled. I was chasing my dreams. I was chasing that love and affection I never had. I was blind. So soooo blind. I put up with disrespect, and cheating, and abuse. mental abuse.. the worst kind. I put up with it because at the end of the day he would tell me he loved me and that's all that mattered to me. I just wanted to be loved so I believed him for my sake.

One day you open your eyes and I wish I could tell you how to. I wish I could tell you to get away from that pain but you have to learn on your own. For me, it was no one other than God. He opened my eyes and I finally woke up and realized that I can choose happiness.. it doesn't choose me. I choose to move on from my past and not let it affect my future. I choose to not settle with someone that doesn't deserve a piece of me just because I was never shown true love from my parents.

It's your choice. Happiness is an option. We go through life (especially as teenage girls) not realizing this. Until you're finally like me. You finally choose happiness and you wish you would've chose it a long time ago.

SO let me ask.. are you happy or are you settling? You are in control of you. Everything begins and ends with you. 💕