Dear beautiful sweet child,

Along with you, I have lost a parent. Along with losing a parent, you lose yourself. Things that were simple become hard, people that you adore become dull, and things that were exciting seem boring. When a child loses a parent, there is a dark horrible trench smack dab in the middle of their heart. The hole takes away all the joy, fun and excitement in life, and leaves one with the question “why?”

Why did this happen to me?

Why did my parent abandon me?

Why would any higher being put me through this pain?

Why am I the only one that feels so shi**y?

Well, truth be told, you aren’t the only one. And your parent didn’t abandon you. They left you to move onto a strong chapter in your life that you would have never thought you would have to do. While you ask yourself all these “whys,” you develop a habit of trying to block out the pain. There are temporary pain relievers, and everyone has a different way of expressing them. Some people turn to drugs, while others turn to shopping. These are used to try to fill the huge trench that our loved one left in our heart.

Let me tell you something, child. That trench will never be filled, but you can try. Don’t rely on material objects to make you feel better, instead look to family or friends. Go to someone who made you happy before and talk to him or her about something other than your loss. Notice how many people care about you, even though you don’t want a bunch of strangers asking, “are you okay?” and saying “I’m sorry for your loss.” Accept their love and condolences.

If you believe in a higher being, you cannot blame them. In times of tragedy it is easy to point fingers because it makes us feel content and have someone to blame. There is no one to blame, not a doctor, not the person, and not yourself. Bad things happen, and sometimes there is no logical explanation.

It’s hard and terrifying to lose a parent, but go on living a beautiful life. Do something that would make them proud, see something they have always wanted to see through you, and their spirit thrives. Through you, they will live forever. Remember all the good instead of the bad, and they will be with you in good spirit forever. And always remember, you are not alone.

My deepest condolences,

Grace