My Chemistry Teacher Looked Like Gandalf

My Chemistry Teacher Looked Like Gandalf

But Gandalf had more hair.
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I think we've all had our fair share of bad teachers throughout our entire lives. It probably was that teacher who barely knew how to stand in front of a classroom, or that teacher who barely stood up to teach the class — or the one who thinks they're better than everybody.

OK, so my junior year of high school, I had three chemistry teachers. They were all different from each other. One was the savvy-chemistry teacher who tried so hard at chemistry jokes. Imma share one:

What do you do to a dead chemist? You barium them.



I never laughed at them. However, she quit due to personal reasons. Then, for three months, we had a sub. She wasn't proficient at anything related to chemistry, let alone math. Apparently, she was an English major. But for the three months we had her, she always left work — and a lot. She wouldn't even try to explain what we were supposed to do. We were supposed to do it all by ourselves.

But then, after her three months were over, the Worst of the Worst swept in, smelling of Doritos into the classroom. I don't know if it was just my nose, but I swear he smelled of cheese Doritos. I'm not lying. He was old, with a bald cap resting atop his face, and the just long hair falling from the sides, a huge beard. He always wore baggy, Hawaiian shirts and brown pants or any variation of that color.

I joked saying that he looked like Gandalf from "The Hobbit." Only that Gandalf had more hair on the head than my chemistry teacher.

Don't let the gif fool you, my teacher was a total dick. He didn't seem as nice and goofy as the Gandalf in that picture.

Well, going back to the story. When he strode into the classroom, he walked in with tremendous authority, thinking that we knew everything he knew. He jumped in straight to his lesson. However, he was the biggest dick ever, claiming how much of a failure our last teacher was for barely teaching us the basics of chemistry.

He said that if he had been our chemistry teacher since the beginning, we would've been covering AP Chem topics in class. And he loved patronizing students.

I remember one time I asked him a hypothetical question: what if I had an A in the class and failed the final; how would that affect my grade?

He gave me such a pointed look. It broke glass as if his dark eyes had been the holes of a gun's barrel. He said: "Why are you asking? So you can later go cry to your mom when you see you've failed my final and my class? So then she can come and ask 'Why did my son get this grade? He's sooo smart. He deserves'? And when she does ask that, I'm going to mention how much you never do work in my class, and that you can retake the class in summer school with an easier professor."


I was mad. I wanted to wipe that pedophile's smile off his face. (His face was so eerie.) He knew I always did the work. I was the only student who understood his stupid ass lectures. I was always top of that class. But no, he said that when I had just asked a hypothetical question.

Of course, there were many things I wanted to say to him. None of them were nice. All of them would've wiped that smile off his face. Maybe I should've brought up the fact that he smelled like one of the most disgusting chips ever and that God knew how his wife could stand such smell.

However, I aced his test and got an A in the class. Part of me regretted not saying anything that day. And another part of me regretted not getting the test back so I could've slapped him with it.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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Why the End of Winter Break is Worse than the End of Summer Break

It was a lot easier to leave my family when we were excited about dorm decorating and a new experience than it was to leave them after the new year.

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A majority of first-year college students tend to live on campus in dorms. These dorms tend to have hours of operation that reflect the campus—meaning that students have to be out of their dorm during winter break. This seems to be a positive thing; it encourages students to go home and visit their family for the holiday season. In many places, it is almost an entire month off of school—what a great break, right?

Regardless of what you do with your family over break, leaving back to college may be the hardest of them all. Students and their families get a taste of what it is like to be home again, sleeping under the same roof, eating home cooked meals,spending time together etc. When it is time for students to go back, there is no big hoorah of shopping for school supplies, decorations, and outfits. There is no big hoorah of a giant family trip to the college to unpack an entire carload of goodies. It is simply a hug goodbye, a half-carload of clean laundry, and a lonely drive home. It is a lonely wait for families as they wait to get a call that their kid made it safe.

The campus is no longer new and exciting. The challenge that lies ahead in the second semester is intimidating. There are not as many events to attend. There are no more football games. Just school. Just work. All of the butterflies of being in a new place and being free from parents seem to dissolve. Students wonder how they will do this for the next four years. How will they be away from their family again? What about their pet? Sure, there is summer break where students can go home for a while. But that taste of home might make returning in the fall even harder.

Whether students go to college twenty minutes from their home, twenty states from their home, or somewhere in between, the adventure creates a distance between families that cause hearts to ache. College may still be an exciting and character-building experience, but that doesn't make the lonely car ride back any different.

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