Hey Boyfriend,

Yes, I know, this is possibly one of the cheesiest and mushiest things I could've possibly done. I could apologize for it, but since we're already here, I figured I might as well to take this opportunity to openly thank you for sticking with me for the past four years (by the time this is published we'll still have about a week until we've truly reached that mark, but I figured "what the hell," and decided to just go for it).

I'll state the obvious first- I know it's not easy being in a long-distance relationship. Especially since we started going out our junior year of high school, where it was practically guaranteed we'd see each other every day and still reserve every Saturday for each other. We decided on different colleges, which was an adjustment in itself, but at least we were only about an hour away from each other and could plan which weekends to spend together.

But now I'm off in Spain for the next four months, and while some days are harder than others, at least we know we already conquered three months separated by the Atlantic, and after a winter break filled with Star Wars, cheap wine, and lots of cuddles, I am certain that we can get through this one too.

I know that my struggles with anxiety can be hard to understand, and I know that sometimes I say stupid things amidst these anxiety attacks like, "Are you sure? How do you know that you love me?" And other needy bullshit that in my heart I know I don't need the reassurance of because I already know that you love me.

Of course we say it to each other every day, but you also say it in your actions, and I figured it was time to write it all out- a comprehensive list of all the ways that you have shown and that you continue to show that you care and how it's about time that I publicly thank you for it.

Thank you for holding me.

Even when my anxiety's been at its worst, you've consistently been there to reground me, and help me come back down to Earth. When I confided in you my mental health struggles, instead of insisting I was "weird" or "clingy", you bought me a Happy Light to help with my Seasonal Affective Disorder.

When I texted you recently saying I had been having an off day, and just couldn't seem to shake the fuzzy feeling in my head, you came to my house and sat with me on my parent's couch, just listening to my rambles and pulling me in for hugs and kisses.

When I was overwhelmed by the heat one day over the summer and came over to your apartment, sweaty and near tears, you ran me a cold shower, lent me a pair of your shorts and then proceeded to stroke my hair until I felt better. I've never felt so comfortable confiding in someone, thank you for always being there for me.

Thank you for helping me relax.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can be a bit uptight, and its harder for me to just let myself go and have a good time. I like to think that I've improved over the years though, and I think a large part of that has to do with you. You've shown me that it's okay to be a little silly every now and again and jokingly yell at the TV when Frodo's being a jerk to Sam in "Return of the King."

You've even gone as far as to reorganize your mom's basement so that we could have a "proper" Nerf fight, complete with obstacles and hiding places. Thank you for showing me the importance of having fun.

Thank you for sharing your fandoms.

Before we started dating I don't think I ever would have even considered playing video games like "Portal 2" or "Mass Effect." I also know for a fact that I definitely wouldn't have watched "Dragon Ball Z" on my own (although, yes, technically I've only really seen the abridged series on YouTube).

You've expanded what I look for in entertainment and are so patient with me when I attempt to control a character's movement and line of sight at the same time on your Xbox. Thank you for introducing me to new worlds.

Thank you for your communication.

To be fair, you've always been pretty good at that. You are so careful and deliberate with your words and even though it's hard with a full class schedule and a 6-hour time difference this year, you always manage to still check in with me. Thank you for being willing to wake up a little earlier on Saturdays and Skype with me for 2-hours each week.

But most importantly,

Thank you for just being you.

There are a lot of "what if's" when you go off to college. We've both probably pondered the idea of "What if I met someone else?" But as you so tenderly reminded me once, "Neither of us were ever looking for anyone else.

We're just happy being with each other because we respect and cherish the other person." It's been a pretty great 4 years with you, and I can't wait to see where life leads us next.

All my love, always.