My junior year of high school was probably the most impactful year in my life. I went through a lot of changes, a lot of stress, and many of the actions I took caused consequences that many teenagers would have buckled under.
But I didn't.
From harmful relationships that caused a lot of emotional distress, to spiritual battles within my life, I wasn't sure that I would make it out of the year alive, let alone thriving as I had been previously. My life up until that point had been a constant blur of scary actions and poor reactions, and I wasn't sure what my life would eventually come to. Would I even make it to college? Would my parents continue to graciously bless me as they always had?
I had no idea what to do with myself, and I didn't understand why God was continually allowing me to stumble and fall. I thought He had left me, and that He wasn't coming back for me. Little did I know, He wasn't the one who had left.
I wandered for a long time, especially throughout my high school years, without caution for what my eternal state looked like. I was so blind and blatantly oblivious to what my actions had the potential to do, that my relationship with Jesus was ignored to the point of being almost nonexistent. I was lonely and I felt empty for almost two years.
I didn't have this huge moment where God said, "Morgan! What the heck are you doing?!" But God did speak to me through a passage of scripture that fully restored my joy. This verse, Pslam 143:8, made my life, which was once broken and dark, into a place of joy and peace where Jesus dwells and lives through me. He brought me joy in the midst of loneliness and pain, and His peace continually delivers me from ever being in that place again.
As college has seriously kicked my butt and humbled me to the point of no end, this verse continuously brings me joy in the midst of feeling like I'm not good enough or smart enough. I am empowered by Christ, and though it may be painful at times, I won't be beaten down again by the circumstances of this life. My suffering isn't over, that's for sure, but my hope is in Christ that one day there will be no pain and no suffering.
