For months now, I've thought about making one of these "Odyssey Online things" to give my thoughts a place to go, but if it's not obvious already, I haven't gotten around to doing so until now. But now that I'm here, I want to talk about unfamiliarity, uncertainty, & all of those other words that quite frankly make human beings feel uncomfy.
I've determined that the reason I haven't gotten around to putting my thoughts out on the table for everyone to read is not because of a lack of time or a case of forgetfulness, although those have definitely added to it, but because it's not something I'm used to. Anyone who knows me & knows me well, can tell you that not only is my mind running in circles, zig-zags, & whatever other path you want to add in there nonstop, but I'm also big on expressing what goes on inside my head. Strong-willed & passionate for the things I care about; both a blessing & a curse, I suppose. Whichever it is, uncertainty has caused me to shy away from ideas that are most important to me.
It's the thoughts that make you super late for your day. The ones that encourage you to do spontaneous things like chop your hair off, or quit the job you've been wanting to quit forever to take up something you wouldn't have had time for otherwise. You know those kind of thoughts that get you genuinely excited to do something fresh & different. I'm sure much like everyone else, I always get this burst of motivation to actually go & do those things that I've been comtemplating. But then, for some odd reason the motivation disappears. That odd reason... is change.
Reality has this really awesome way of hitting us all in the face like a ton of bricks. Indecisiveness is something I struggle with quite often. Call it ridiculous, ask me why I "can't just make up my mind," look at me like I have ten heads when I can't choose between the tissue box with trees on it & the one with polka dots on it. Uncertainty, this crazy, fearful sensation that is masked with subtle sincerity, drives me nuts. The "what if" is always there, like the stray cat you fed a couple times that seems to think it has a home with you now. Not only is it always there, I let it influence my decisions day in & day out.
I don't think I know a single person that truly enjoys feeling uncertain or uncomfortable, which honestly makes total sense. As human beings, we don't enjoy vulnerability. We don't like putting ourselves out there, in fear of being rejected. Well, I will have you know that the moment you watch your hair fall to the ground after your hairdresser cuts 7 inches off, you feel damn good. Once you separate yourself from people that don't bring out the best in you & connect with people that do, you feel inspired. Along with so many other things I could come up with, once you are exposed to new surroudings & see what else is out there, you feel so rejuvinated. Being uncomfortable, not knowing what's to come, & CHANGE is good. Change is so good.
I'm learning each day to embrace changes more. To erase the negative connotation in my head that we all seem to associate with the word. To realize that something new is neither good nor bad, but rather different. Do I still have days when I decide not to talk to people because I've never talked to them before? Or not apply to something because I'm afraid I won't get accepted? Without a doubt. But, the point is to push through those rocky moments. To learn that once you've pushed through, you're through. As clear as that sounds... it's really like ripping off a Bandaid. Every new experience has something different to take from it that adds value & quality to you as an individual.
So embrace the changes, let yourself be vulnerable, & remember that change is good. Change is good. Change is good.
