Tear-stained shirts bare the silent responses to our prayers. Days turn to weeks, and confidence turns to doubt. Believers turn to skeptics, and leaders turn into followers. Prayers are forgotten and redemption is improbable.

We've all been there, and maybe you're there right now. Doubting, questioning, searching and just exhausting your heart for peace. Striving, pushing and prodding for the best life you can make for yourself. So what happens when our kingdoms become flesh-oriented? When they become self-centered and begin to fall away from the cross? How do we know what true faith looks like? Well, let me tell you what I know.

In my own life, I severely struggled to give up my false sense of control. I find myself asking God to move me, but then I'm unwilling to move my feet. Yes, I'll admit I'm very guilty of it! Sometimes these changes happen in our hearts so gradually and subtly that we don't even notice them! That is why continuous evaluation of our hearts is necessary. And as someone once told me, you need to think about what you're thinking about. We need to constantly be challenging ourselves and our ways of thinking. When you pray, what motives do you have? When you reach out to help someone in need, are you doing it for the satisfaction of the act or for God's glory? When you share your testimony, is it to benefit your own pride or enforce that God has redeemed you, and that without Him you are nothing? These are all critical things to ponder on.

Shallow faith leaves us broke, tired, and empty. We still run to other things for complete satisfaction. We still pick up the bottle or strive for the best academic performance because we feel the need to do, not be. When shaken, shallow faith breaks. When flooded, it only sinks. Our hearts cannot grow if we don't accept the opportunities to.

Here's a scary thought, pray for God's will.

This year I began talking to a boy whom I had liked for quite a while, and I was extremely excited to see our friendship growing into something more. We talked everyday, all day, for two solid months. Eventually things started to change, and I could anticipate what was coming next. I remember very clearly the night we talked on the phone, and he told me he wasn't sure if what he felt was real or not. Hanging up the phone after that conversation broke me. I cried for a solid three days, but it was what I prayed for. I wanted God's will for our relationship, not my own. It made moving on and walking away from that boy much easier in the long run, because if I'm living in God's will for that relationship, then I can be at ease with whatever happens.

Shallow faith isn't something we want. It's not something we would brag about, and it hopefully is not something we are satisfied with. You want to grow deeper and deeper with Christ, correct? Then remember this scripture,

"We glorify in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

-Romans 5:3-5

When you walk through trials of many kinds and your faith is tested, lean into your first love. Run to the alter and put your trust in His promises. He will not leave you, so remain courageous. Without pain there is no growth, and without growth you will remain in a shallow faith.