In my short 20 years of life, nothing stands out to me more than someone who can't seem to get a grip on reality. The prime example of this is a 21st-century man who still has his head in the dirt thinking that any form of catcalling can actually end successfully. It doesn't really matter if you do it because you have no social sense, think "ah why not!" or find yourself hilarious.. In the grand scheme of things, it just makes you a pretty sucky person.

Don't be that guy. No one wants a guy who sucks.

1. Grab her ass

From first hand experience, when a guy does this randomly at a club or bar, it really does have a 100% success rate of making him the worst human in the entire world. It should also come with a guaranteed knee to the balls.

2. Whistling

This signifies that you are loud, proud and in charge. She has no choice but to cave and marry you on the spot. Why use words like a civilized human when you can remind her of her high school soccer coach during preseason?

3. Noticeably looking her up and down as she walks by

Especially when it's followed by a creepy trying-to-be seductive face that looks like you're trying to hold in a shit. I don't know any girl who doesn't go weak in the knees for this.

4. Act as big and tough as humanly possible

The harder you flex, the faster she will fall deeply and irreversibly in love with you. Add dramatic low-key eye contact to this and you are the definition of a winner. Seriously, make sure she knows how much you bench without you saying anything at all.

5. Yelling "damnnnn" or any alternative form of this

It's even better when you're in front of your friends. Or in a car driving by. This makes the girl feel extremely special and she will totally take it as a compliment! She may even chase your car as it drives away.