5 Ways To Pick Up A Girl

Grabbing Her Ass, And 4 Catcall Alternatives That Will Work Every Time

100% success rate, guaranteed.

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In my short 20 years of life, nothing stands out to me more than someone who can't seem to get a grip on reality. The prime example of this is a 21st-century man who still has his head in the dirt thinking that any form of catcalling can actually end successfully. It doesn't really matter if you do it because you have no social sense, think "ah why not!" or find yourself hilarious.. In the grand scheme of things, it just makes you a pretty sucky person.

Don't be that guy. No one wants a guy who sucks.

1. Grab her ass

From first hand experience, when a guy does this randomly at a club or bar, it really does have a 100% success rate of making him the worst human in the entire world. It should also come with a guaranteed knee to the balls.

2. Whistling

This signifies that you are loud, proud and in charge. She has no choice but to cave and marry you on the spot. Why use words like a civilized human when you can remind her of her high school soccer coach during preseason?

3. Noticeably looking her up and down as she walks by

Especially when it's followed by a creepy trying-to-be seductive face that looks like you're trying to hold in a shit. I don't know any girl who doesn't go weak in the knees for this.

4. Act as big and tough as humanly possible

The harder you flex, the faster she will fall deeply and irreversibly in love with you. Add dramatic low-key eye contact to this and you are the definition of a winner. Seriously, make sure she knows how much you bench without you saying anything at all.

5. Yelling "damnnnn" or any alternative form of this

It's even better when you're in front of your friends. Or in a car driving by. This makes the girl feel extremely special and she will totally take it as a compliment! She may even chase your car as it drives away.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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Just Because You're Single Doesn't Mean You Aren't Worth A Loving Relationship

The presence of a significant other doesn't define your beauty or worth.

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Freshman year of high school: Maybe I'll finally date someone this year! It's high school now, after all, there has to be someone who would be interested in me!

Graduating from high school: Maybe I just wasn't meant to date anyone in high school. Dating is overrated, anyway.

Throughout my childhood, I've never been the beautiful cheerleader or popular girl who every boy wanted to have a chance with. Instead, I've always watched everyone else's relationships from the sidelines, always wondering when it would be my turn to finally meet someone. While I've made peace with being single at this stage of my life (it's pointless to date senior year anyway, especially if you're moving seven hours away to your dream school and will likely only be back in your hometown once or twice a year), I didn't always feel this way.

With the beginning of high school comes the beginning of a multitude of relationships and new couples flourishing everywhere. It can be incredibly hard to watch this when you're single with no boys snapchatting you to hang out while all your friends' phones are constantly blowing up with messages from every guy in school. It's taken me years to accept the fact that God's plan for my life didn't include dating anyone in high school. Reflecting on the past four years now, I see the divinity in this plan as I head into my future. No one should be defined by their relationship status, and having a significant other makes no difference in your worth and value.

So to the one who's still single, you are worthy.

It's completely okay if you haven't found that person yet, the one who flips your world upside down whenever you lock eyes. It's okay if you haven't found the one you would cross time and space to be with, because if you're meant to find them, I promise you will. In fact, they're probably feeling the same way. The funny thing about love is how it hits you out of nowhere. It's the guy you bump into at the grocery store and keep running into everywhere you go. When two people are destined to meet, they will.

You are so much more than your relationship status. In case no one's told you yet, being single is actually a lot of fun. There's unparalleled freedom in being able to do as you please without having to consider someone else's feelings or opinions. You can move across the country or the globe, pursue any dream in your heart, and simply hang out with whoever you want whenever you want. God has an incredible person waiting for you, but don't waste your youth waiting for them. Live a life you love, and become someone you would be proud to call yours and marry someday.

In the end, the wait will be more than worth it when you find the one you're meant to spend eternity with.

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