5 Ways To Pick Up A Girl
Start writing a post
Relationships

Grabbing Her Ass, And 4 Catcall Alternatives That Will Work Every Time

100% success rate, guaranteed.

907
Grabbing Her Ass, And 4 Catcall Alternatives That Will Work Every Time
Parks & Rec // Netflix

In my short 20 years of life, nothing stands out to me more than someone who can't seem to get a grip on reality. The prime example of this is a 21st-century man who still has his head in the dirt thinking that any form of catcalling can actually end successfully. It doesn't really matter if you do it because you have no social sense, think "ah why not!" or find yourself hilarious.. In the grand scheme of things, it just makes you a pretty sucky person.

Don't be that guy. No one wants a guy who sucks.

1. Grab her ass

From first hand experience, when a guy does this randomly at a club or bar, it really does have a 100% success rate of making him the worst human in the entire world. It should also come with a guaranteed knee to the balls.

2. Whistling

This signifies that you are loud, proud and in charge. She has no choice but to cave and marry you on the spot. Why use words like a civilized human when you can remind her of her high school soccer coach during preseason?

3. Noticeably looking her up and down as she walks by

Especially when it's followed by a creepy trying-to-be seductive face that looks like you're trying to hold in a shit. I don't know any girl who doesn't go weak in the knees for this.

4. Act as big and tough as humanly possible

The harder you flex, the faster she will fall deeply and irreversibly in love with you. Add dramatic low-key eye contact to this and you are the definition of a winner. Seriously, make sure she knows how much you bench without you saying anything at all.

5. Yelling "damnnnn" or any alternative form of this

It's even better when you're in front of your friends. Or in a car driving by. This makes the girl feel extremely special and she will totally take it as a compliment! She may even chase your car as it drives away.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

93902
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments