5 Ways To Pick Up A Girl
Start writing a post
Relationships

Grabbing Her Ass, And 4 Catcall Alternatives That Will Work Every Time

100% success rate, guaranteed.

909
Grabbing Her Ass, And 4 Catcall Alternatives That Will Work Every Time
Parks & Rec // Netflix

In my short 20 years of life, nothing stands out to me more than someone who can't seem to get a grip on reality. The prime example of this is a 21st-century man who still has his head in the dirt thinking that any form of catcalling can actually end successfully. It doesn't really matter if you do it because you have no social sense, think "ah why not!" or find yourself hilarious.. In the grand scheme of things, it just makes you a pretty sucky person.

Don't be that guy. No one wants a guy who sucks.

1. Grab her ass

From first hand experience, when a guy does this randomly at a club or bar, it really does have a 100% success rate of making him the worst human in the entire world. It should also come with a guaranteed knee to the balls.

2. Whistling

This signifies that you are loud, proud and in charge. She has no choice but to cave and marry you on the spot. Why use words like a civilized human when you can remind her of her high school soccer coach during preseason?

3. Noticeably looking her up and down as she walks by

Especially when it's followed by a creepy trying-to-be seductive face that looks like you're trying to hold in a shit. I don't know any girl who doesn't go weak in the knees for this.

4. Act as big and tough as humanly possible

The harder you flex, the faster she will fall deeply and irreversibly in love with you. Add dramatic low-key eye contact to this and you are the definition of a winner. Seriously, make sure she knows how much you bench without you saying anything at all.

5. Yelling "damnnnn" or any alternative form of this

It's even better when you're in front of your friends. Or in a car driving by. This makes the girl feel extremely special and she will totally take it as a compliment! She may even chase your car as it drives away.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
beer on the beach

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

7 Reasons SoCal Rocks!

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

1734
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt carrying girl in red jacket in Venice beach
Photo by Jeff Hopper on Unsplash

SoCal summers are the best summers by far, and honestly, no argument is needed. But, if you aren't sure why SoCal summers are the best, here are 7 reasons why!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

25 Lyrics for Selfie Captions

Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

53925
woman takes a selfie for social media
Pixabay

Sometimes you can't think of the perfect caption for your Instagram post. I love using lyrics as my captions because there's so many great lines in songs that just seem to fit in the moment. Here are some lyrics that could work for your selfie or pictures of you with your friends!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Bruce Springsteen's Top 7 Lyrics

Everything Bruce says in his classic rock songs.

20369
bruce springsteen album cover born in the usa

Anyone who was born and raised in New Jersey (or anywhere really) knows of Bruce Springsteen, whether or not they like him is a whole other situation. I hope that his hundreds of classic rock songs and famous high energy performances, even in his sixties he can put on better concerts than people half his age, are at least recognizable to people of all ages. Love him or hate him (I identify with the former) you have to admit that some of his songs and interviews have inspirational quotes and lyrics.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

6177
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

You cannot beat the beach. Believe it or not (which many people may not), New England has a long and beautiful coastline. Most of my high school summers were spent sitting on the Wall at Hampton Beach, getting sunburnt and eating Acai bowls from The Secret Spot. The Wall was the place to be both during the day and at night. We begin our days there with a KB's bagel and coffee, and end them with pizza and ice cream. It’s not a New England summer without that 4 p.m. text from someone, “Who wants to meet at the Wall tonight?” Nighttime is for Tripoli’s Pizza, the sound of waves, and wishes on shooting stars. Wednesday nights are especially important, as those are the nights that Hampton Beach sets off the weekly firework display.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments